Keeping my spirits up

[Lissie]

Happy Birthday T BUG. FIFTEEN? sigh that means you are sooo much older.

Um

anywhoo.

she sent a bag in for Tawny with a card and a ring

Actually I am a bit impressed under the circumstances of Carrie being an ass munch.

She did not come in and see her daughter for her birthday, she did not call her daughter on her birthday, and she did not text her daughter on her birthday.

She wrote this semi mushy card to Tawny which at least contained no guilt in it, other than that, nothing

So when are you going to stop having any expectations of her? Aren't you tired of you wanting her to be someone she is not.

I know she was someone wonderful for a very long time. I know that she took the bulk of parenting for a good 12 years. I know that she was one of those moms that you can write a commercial about.

That moms is gone. I am sorry. I pray that she returns one day for the sake of your children.

I think it is time for you to focus on what she DOES bring to the table. A ring, a halfy mushy card, a hi once in a while, or a TM once in a while.

Are they good enought? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

But it is what she offers. Is T bug worth more than the occasional scrap, totally.

Point out to her what she DOES have, and both of you try no to focus on what she DOES not bring to the table. Easier said than done? yes. Do you have to keep reminding yourselves of the good? yes.

Why?

Not b/c of Carrie. This has nothing to do with her half ass attempt of being a worthy human being.

Focusing on the good is for you and for Tawny and for Ross.

So you can all heal a little each day. Mourning the loss of a marriage, is so hard already. Children take their time healing, so in that process of healing for Tawny, try to turn it to positive as much as you can.

I know it is hard, it is hard work when all of this is on our shoulders.

As for Senorita, slow and steady wins the race. Be as honest as possible. Be a gentleman always.

It is unfair for us to put out baggage on to somone that is not desrving of it, so that means that just b/c you are in an R, it does not mean that you stop working on yourself.

You know the drill.

and if she is as patient as she has been, then it is all good.

I know it is scary. It gets less scary. Well it better.