Maybe there is another way to escape from it. I guess at the moment you are acting a bit as if there isn't an affair. How about trying acting as if there is . . .
I agree with this, except I WOULD say something. The next time she tells you something you KNOW is a lie, just put your hand up in the "stop" position and say "STOP IT. We both know that's a lie, and it's incredibly disrespectful that you keep looking me in the eye and lying to me. If you choose to have an affair, you're a grown woman and I can't stop you, but please stop lying to me about it. It insults my intelligence."
If she asks you how you know, do NOT reveal the source of your intel -- just say "we both know it's true," and leave it at that.
The disrespect of daily deceit destroys self-confidence -- especially for a man, I believe. If you can't stop her adultery, I suggest you try to get her to at least stop her DECEIT. It took me two months of continued effort, and then it even took a final, HARD re-confrontation in which I had to actually PLAY THE AUDIO for my wife to get her to admit it, but I made sure that she at least stopped lying to me, her parents, and our adult daughters about her affair.
