No it does not matter who is better at dbing. But you both have to be int the game. So to speak. What I was trying to say is she is good at detatching and LRT. Me, not so much.
As far as this R compared to my M, We both read the books along with all the others out there. We both know there are "tools" to make things work. She chose not to.
I have to appologize. I am feeling a little bitter lately. I guess a year of trying has finally caught up to me.
Someone posed a question about the mindset of the LBS. but I can't seem to find it. I think it was one who has responded on this so hopefullyu this can help but it may be a bit harsh.
The LB, when they first here that the WAS has a problem, they panic. They scramble to figure out what went wrong. They finally hear what the WAS was trying to tell them (I know some of you were very clear on what you wanted but they just didn't get it). So the LB tries to make changes. Beggs and pleads for another chance. Goes weeks, months without sleeping (just as the WAS did before leaving). They can't eat. They can't think. They see all these ways they made mistakes and have good solid solutions to fix the issues. They try to reason but are only ignored or doubted.
Then one day it hits them. YOU DIDN'T WANT ME! YOU DIDN'T NEED ME. AND YOU CERTTAINLY DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE LOVE I SHOWED. DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT I WAS TRYING TO DO TO MOVE OUR RELATIONSHIP FORWARD OR THE EFFORTS I WAS GIVING. So they become bitter. They just went through a hell that they never knew existed. They wanted one chance. A little faith and got nothing.
They stop pursueing. And that is when you notice. Their heart is shattered and you still own it but they will be damned if they are going to let you kick it any more. Maybe tehy started seeing someone and there is a little spark. Not what they had with you but a spark. They hold the other person yet long for you. It's you they want to be with, but now, they no longer believe in you. And they are angry. Angry at themselves as well as angry at you.
This isn't ment to P.O. anyone here. I know the walk aways had their reasons and I am sure they were legit. I am hopefully answering why the LB who persued so hard and so diligent for so long has now, changed their mind. It isn't their heart. It's their trust in you.
