Also, she identified the year after our D was born as being the time she can't forgive me for. I was a bastard she says.

Which is very hard to hear since although I do recall coming home at 6 and seeing dishes piled up in the sink and nothing ready for dinner and being upset about it, there wasn't a whole lot else that comes to mind.

In fact when I ask for specifics she refuses to give them.

It seems sometimes that the major reason for the seperation and her negative feelings for me is always a moving target. Is that common ?

we had some decent conversation however. I breached the issue about our D and how D had made it clear to me she preferred to be at home with me and that she thought that Mommy did not really want her. The first time I said it, W seemed to accept it. When I began to go into detail and reiterate for clarification, she got defensive and a little accusatory.

But overall it went better than I expected. I was really afraid she was going to lose it, because she has in the past when I addressed this issue.

Conversations like this always deteriorate rapidly but eventually seem to come to a place of sanity.

I think she's been alone with her fearful and anxious thoughts for too long and it makes her a little overreactive.

Also, I had asked her to forgive me for specific things I had become aware of about 5 weeks ago. She still cannot forgive me. I would hate to be her right now. To have that much anger and unforgiveness cant be good.

It is true that the WAS that we are interacting with now doesn't really seem like the same person we thought we knew up until the announcement. Its like a demon has taken over or something. Not the same person. I don't really know this person, though I have known my W for 9 yrs. ( And tried to love and care for her all that time too).

I don't know what the hell really happened when it comes down to it. No more than I knew before it happened. Its just a change in attitude and choice that I cannot relate to.

I need your prayers, anyone. I am really sad tonight.

Last edited by native; 09/15/08 03:42 AM.
Me 47, W 32,D 6,
Met 11 yrs. ago, M 7
Bomb 4/08/08, Sep. 8/10/08, Div. 8/10/09