MWG-Says no red roses for it is a sign of love and may be pressure for her and to go with pink or yellow.
Glam-Says red for love if that is the message I want to send.
Well I do love her, but I do agree with both of your for your reasoning. Hmm, now how do I make a call on this?
We haven't seen each other in about three weeks and haven't talked but a couple times for just a few min on general stuff, but not about us.
Anyway about the in-laws I have talked to them a couple times since we have been apart. They say they want to remain neutral. They do seem supportive in what I am doing with myself and I think they think that I may have made some improvements or see some good changes in me. I hope they are shooting straight with me. I was thinking about calling my MIL tomorrow.
Anyway my W was suppose to come by yesterday to get a paper she needed for school and then head to he mom for her brothers b-day. Well she didn't show, but later emailed me to say that she didn't have time. I wish she had come by, I have a small b-day gift for her brother, plus I would have got to see her for a min and I wanted to tell her that I love her. Haven't told her that in a while because of DBing, but I am also tired of suppressing or bottling all of my feelings.
You do what is in your heart and mind and go with that.
As for the ILY's. You will know when the time is right with regard to that. I do tell my H ILY and he usually says it as well but like I said, you will know the right time for that.
If you are unsure then take it up in prayer.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
About talking to the in-laws, I was going to talk to my in-laws today but haven't yet. I actually thought about maybe trying to talk to them in person, have any of you done that?
Also with my W B-Day coming up and me sending some flowers this coming week, I was wondering if I should hold off on talking to the in-laws until some time after that. Send her the flowers and see how she responds to that. I wouldn't tell the in-laws about the flower idea if I did talk to them before sending flowers but assuming my W talked with them just about the fact that I had called just to chat, not sure if it would change her perception on the flowers. I maybe over analyzing and rambling here but I would like you ladies thoughts please.
I have not talked to my in-laws since the S, except at the very beginning because I was trying to reach my H (before finding DB). If I were you, I wouldn't initiate contact.
As for the flowers, I am not sure what to advise. If you send any, keep the note very light.
Hugs back, nlt. Thanks for saying Hi. I am OK. Just trying to keep up with life and keeping up with working on my M. Currently reading a very good book called "When Your Mate Wants Out" by Sally Conway & Jim Conway. Lots of good advice there.
"Anyway about the in-laws I have talked to them a couple times since we have been apart. They say they want to remain neutral. They do seem supportive in what I am doing with myself and I think they think that I may have made some improvements or see some good changes in me. I hope they are shooting straight with me."
I feel comfortable talking to my in-laws but I keep having this feeling of needing to talk with them, I don't get this feeling very often, but I am just trying to sort out my feelings.
My in laws live 2300 miles away but they know what is going on and i can tell you that their son is not welcome in their home while he is in an adulterous affair.
Each situation is different and each set of in-laws are different.
Only you know them well enough to know how to proceed.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Well I don't think my W is having an affair but if she did I'm not sure to confront her or turn it over to God and wait to see if she came forward. We had talks that we would never do that to each other and I haven't just speaking for myself.
My H did not tell me, as I discovered it via phone records and his initial response was: It is about time you found it out.
Then he told me it had nothing to do with me, that I was the best wife, etc. I could no longer pretend that everything was nice here and told my FIL exactly what was going on. I felt comfortable doing it and he has been pretty good but it is hard on them, too.
My h has not called his parents in three years.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
I pray that she is not and would not ever do that. She has a pretty religious background, morals, and standards when it comes to things like this. I pray that she stays strong in those areas. One thing that bothers me though is that we don't see each other much or talk much, but that is not on account of me. I wonder if she just doesn't want to talk right now or if she is scared. Maybe some of you that have been in this sitch longer than me can clue me in has to things that a WAW might do.
