is it really true?

[stella_k]

Hey, (((SMW, nlt))),

the party was ok. Not great, as there were awkward moments, but I enjoyed it nevertheless.

H has disappeared for two days. He called me yesterday around midnight, I was in bed and told him so. He apologized for waking me up (he didn't as I have trouble sleeping, but I chose not to tell him). He said he was away, at his M's house, helping her and just came back, didn't notice it was that late. My reaction was: whatever.

I told him that D17 sent an e-mail and she wanted US to give her a call.
Now, if you remember, H and I agreed on not telling her about US, not yet anyway.
So I've told H that I'm going to deal with D and explain somehow that dad is not here at the moment. H didn't respond. Then we spoke about something else and I brought up the phone call again. This time H asked what time am I going to call her. When I told him, something like6-7 PM, he said, I don't know for sure, but may be I'll come over and we can make the call together. I said ok.

When I woke up, I kept thinking about his hesitation and how he said "may be". I ended up calling D. It went well, she didn't really ask where is dad, and he is not the type to call often, he'd rather send an e-mail. After that, I tried to call him on his cell to tell him there is no need to come over and - surprise! - such number does not exist anymore. I sent an e-mail - and it was returned to me, host unknown! Did he change his cell number and e-mail address without telling me?
Even though I didn't call him ONCE since we came back and have only sent him one message concerning our D? Has he finally gone completely mad ?

Well, don't know, don't care.

If he calls, I'm going to tell him not to come, that's all.

I'm not as composed and calm as I was a week ago, but I've just had to tell about a dozen friends we're no longer together. For some it was a shocking revelation, the others have heard rumors or even met the Spider. One of them has known Spider for years and told me such horrible things about her, I was shocked. They had a short A, and the guy walked away from her in disgust. He kept repeating: HER and your H? Impossible!
He also told me that it cannot last, unnatural as it is. He was stunned to find out, that it lasts for about 18 months now. He actually made me laugh when he said: but... They have to TALK sometimes, don't they? What can they possibly TALK about?
Well, strangely, it didn't bring any relieve. Dumped for something like that... Feels good .

Anyway, I still think I'm doing ok. No more crying, that's for sure.

And - lots of GALing ahead of me. Next week sounds very busy .

(((Hugs))) to all.