Up until yesterday I was pleased that I was going to have the unusual amicable post divorce family get-together. NOT! Backing up, I had talked to ex over a week ago about D17's birthday dinner, and explained that I was just not able to include his gf, but I asked if he'd like to come. He said, "I understand. I will come. GF understands completely". THEN yesterday I received a tm from ex saying he was "uncomfortable" being with his family if his gf was not included. I sent a text back saying "I will miss you at the celebration". He was mad at my reaction since he figured he could guilt me into including her!!! I got a text back saying he expected his gf to be included in the future.
I cancelled the birthday dinner and took D17 to the mall with a friend. (the uncles had a conflict in time--one wanted earlier, one wanted later. No matter what time I picked someone would be left out. It just stopped being fun). She was quite pleased since I let her spend the money I would have spent on dinner.
I hope in the future I can be a functions with ex and his gf and be at ease. Divorce was less than 6 months ago. I think I need more time. However, if I am the one planning the party I should be able to invite whoever I want. I started to write back to ex that I would invite his gf to functions after she invites me to his next birthday party. I also won't ever try to get his family together again. We haven't all been together since his mom died.....I thought this would be a special occasion. I wanted D17 to still feel support from her uncles. It is too bad that I am surrounded by his family that doesn't care about being a family.
I won't have to deal with anything until her graduation. Maybe I'll let her dad plan that (and then I'll be the one not invited and I'll be hurt). I think it would be easier with a big group and at a neutral location.....have a buffer available. The birthday dinner was down to just 5 people.
What would be best for my daughter? I personally thought my daughter might be uncomforable sitting at a table with dad, gf, aunt, uncle, and me.....but I didn't ask her. Should I?
