Lee, I am sorry, I know how frustrating this all is. All I can tell you is the same thing I tell myself... patience, patience, patience. Don't give in, don't give up. You are so much further along than you were when I got on this bb. Take care, good friend.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Lee ~ I was on Celexa for a while and my libido was NON EXISTENT!!! I look back on that time and cringe for my h because I had NO interest in sex and it had to make him feel awful. I agree that you have to be patient and give her more time! In the meantime, keep ranting here!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Lee, Just rereading Jim Conway's book, Men in Midlife Crisis. He actually suggests that you make a contract with your wife. You will do something for her and she will do this for you. Who knows? I know it certainly sounds a bit crazy... would certainly be a 180 wouldn't it??
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Actually in the past I have tried that. My W does not hold to her agreements in that department. I will give you an example. My birthday was about 2 months ago. My W asked me what I wanted for my birthday I said I would like to make love 3 times in one day. She said sure I can do that. So the morning of my Bday things started out great. What I had asked for happened. She said a little later we would finish things up with that smile. Then she decided to sleep all day(she does work graves so this is kind of normal) When I say all day I mean all day 7 to 5. Then after that she has a headache she doesn't feel well basically every excuse in the book. She says we will get that taken care of tommorow but nothing never happens and I don't think she forgets but chooses to ignore it if I do not bug her about it.
If I say something to her about it and she does agree it is like its a chore. She told me once that to get her in the mood she needs a back rub and a foot rub and all of this. I have done this things and yeah that doesn't work either.
I wouldn't be ranting about this so much but it has been years since I was satisfied with out love life.
I know your frustration, Lee. I think my H probably felt the same way... and look what happened. Someone posted yesterday about a book they were reading that said that one night you give a full body massage, avoiding breasts and privates and that is all, you don't go further... and do those kind of things but not sex.
I don't know how to make her want you more other than the thought of not having you. I know there is a guy in newcomers extrememly frustrated also. I know I did not realize what a gift sex was until my H left. Now, I know. If I ever get the opportunity of having my H in the same bed with me again, if he wants sex 3x daily I'll be there. I guess I'm saying that women sometimes use this as a control device, maybe unknowingly and it often backfires. I do know there are sex counselors out there, my friends go to one, and maybe you could go on your own. Thinking of you.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
Just checking in with you. Hope you are OK. Thank you for your post on my thread the other day. Take care ~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Lee - just remember this was before her thyroid disease was diagnosed. You wouldn't have held her to the agreement if she had the stomach flu that day, would you? Be patient, hon.
Well all Im trying to be very patient with this whole thing. I just feel like I tyr and try and try and nothing changes. She has been telling me she has been feeling so much better lately that when she is tired its just tired not exhausted. She said it was hard to put on her cloths she was so tired. Now as she gets better there is no change what so ever.
Im will be patient though. There is no pressure for making love I don't talk to her about it. I just go with the flow. Anyway that is about all the update I have.
I feel kind fo guilty I haven't had time to get on and see what is going on in eveyones sitchs. This week will hopefully be much lighter at work.
Lee - tell yourself you won't get impatient until after her TSH has been between 1 and 2 for a month. (That is the "optimum" range for most people - and in my experience, it took almost a month of being at that range to really reverse most of the physical effects of hypothyroidism).
I will be patient. I mean what do I have to lose by not being patient. It is just tough. Im one of the most impatient people on the planet. I just want things fixed so that maybe my needs could be met. That would be sooo nice.
I look back on that time and cringe for my h because I had NO interest in sex and it had to make him feel awful. 
