t2l- You asked about whether or not our H always had pessimistic attitude? I have known my H since I was 15 and he was 17. I was his first real girlfriend. He had a tough relationship with his parents growing up and still does. He has always been an insecure person since Ive known him. As a matter of fact right before he walked out the door the night he left me he said "I always thought you'd be the one leaving me" He's been unhappy about alot of things leading up to all this - I just didnt realize I was one of those things. And I feel so , so bad that he was so unhappy with me. I never meant to hurt him or push him away. Cant remember who posted on last thread about their H asking her why she never asked him for anything after he left and felt like she was continuing to push him away even now that he's gone. My sobbing, pleading, and reasoning in the beginning pushed my H away more. But now I try to GAL, do not initiate contact, do not ask for anything, etc. It seems since ive been acting this way he's more angry. Is this behavior making him mad,giving him the impression I dont care and validating his feelings of "emotional neglect" by me? Im just trying to "let go" like he asked. The other day he made a comment about how he feels (didnt actually say IDLYA because kids were around) and stated he feels that way even more now. I guess no matter how I behave, his mind is made up. I hope the football game went OK today. Did they win? I was at D11 volleyball game this morning. I met H and all kids there cuz they stayed night with him last night. It is so hard. Just dont know how to act sometimes.
Hope3343- WOW! getting some nice compliments from the H. I would kill for that right now. Funny, H gave me a really nice compliment a few months before he left me. He is going to 20 year class reunion , had hotel room reserved and said "I just cant wait to go to my reuinon with my beautiful wife at my side". Now all I can envision is the OW by his side at the reunion.
twinhope- 2year old twins!!. S11 and D11 are twins (you mightve figured that out). My kids stayed with H at his house last night then I met all of them atD11 volleyball game this morning. Thought they would be home with me tonight. I was going to take them to church tommorrow morning, but H planned to have them stay with him tonight again. Told H I didnt realize they would spend night again tonight and wanted to go to church. He didnt really know what to say, so I said "nevermind, its OK just take them with you" The kids miss their father, and If he wanted to take them , I wasnt going to stop it. I can go to church by myself. As a matter of fact , after volleyball game was over and they all left together, I decided to go see a movie by myself (was not as bad as I thought- actually enjoyed it). Saw "The Women" About a group of close friends- one of whose H has an affair (I would have to pick THAT movie!) There is some poignant points but it is actually a comedy, and I left feeling empowered-that no matter what happens with my marriage Ill be OK. I will think of you tommorrow on your 6year anniversary.
me 36 H 38 S14 S11 D11
IDLYA bomb 6-18-2008 H left 6-19-2008 H confessed EA (probably PA by now) 7-04 and asked for D
