Don't beat yourself up over your emotions. I don't think anyone here is as detached as we would like to be. We all have the wash of various emotions come over us. They are your emotions to feel so feel them but don't let them control you.
You need a schedule. It is best for everyone involved. You should try and sit down with your W (without your kids) and decide what is best for the kids but gives each of you the amount of custody you want then put it in writng. Your kids might not always like it but as long as you are fair, it is the best that you can do.
Having a schedule will also give you one less thing to argue with your W about.
If you can't discus it without getting into an argument, maybe try and do it over email. I talk to my W a lot over email. I like it for 2 reasons. 1. I have a record of what was said in case I need it later. And 2, It allows me to keep my emotions in check when I reply. I never reply unless I'm calm.
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next week I go over the verbal mediation and get it in writing. I guess once we get that straight it's over...I guess the mark my ring left on my ring finger doesn't mean much now. I used to look at it and dream that God left that mark on me because it would all work out and we would get back together. But I guess I was dreaming or just hoping too much.
I don't think that if you end up divorced it means that your marriage cannot be resorted. Divorces are so easy to get (too easy) that our spouses can get them on a whim and think nothing of it. Your W thinks that after she D's you, her life will be great. But we know otherwise. D is just another crazy action in a crazy situation. Don't let it take your focus off your goal.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
