...NOW I understand that every sign along the way had told me that I was with the wrong man. I loved him, and I could have easily remained married to him forever...but I would have never felt my passion with him. That was the final lesson I had to accept.
DQ, this is my great dilemma as well. I have known this for a very long time. I love this woman very much too, I can see myself remaining married with her and us growing old together. However I don't (at this time anyway) see her ever finding her passion for me and I don't get to express my passion for her as I would like to because of this.
Without being able to express myself physically with her, I feel like I am existing only half-alive in this marriage. I pray that she will open herself to finding this sensual part of herself again. I pray that I will have the patience to give her time to do this.
I can't live like this anymore, but I will give her time. It won't be like the last time I was at the end of my rope and walked out. This time she has advance warning, she knows what I am asking of her. This time I am showing her how good things can be between us if she will only accept ALL of the love I have to offer her, not just a part of myself.
If we are truly right for one another, she will find this lost part of herself, her passion for me. I can no longer hide that part of myself from her. It has been hidden for so long because I thought she no longer wanted this part of myself (I also accept that this may never change). This IS the true Cinco, she must accept me as I truly am if she wants to stay with me. If she cannot accept that her husband wants to have a full blown vibrant marriage, she'll have to accept that he will leave her.
I hope that isn't the outcome of all of this but I can now accept if it is.
