I just read through your thread. Thanks for making me laugh! Loved the Mambo Craze video - put me back in vacation mode.
As for stbxw... I may be wrong - but it sounds to me based on stbxw's history - that she seems to need the fun/romance/excitement adrenaline of a new R. She appears to care about you - but needs her high more... And while she might be an otherwise great person - she isn't great relationship material... and there is nothing you can do to make her otherwise... Her triggers, choices, behavior is not something that is within your control. All that you can do is accept that she is who she is.
There comes a point where you have to decide what you want for you and take ownership of that decision. And then you set goals to take care of you and let stbxw take care of herself.
By taking ownership - I mean acceptance of the D and setting goals based that acceptance.
For example, if you have accepted the D (in your head - the heart takes awhile) - then it is okay to protect yourself from being drawn in by stbxw. It is okay to avoid situations where stbxw does the push/pull thing b/c that type of thing makes it harder for you to let go. It is okay when she starts her push/pull stuff - to say - I really need to go now. Those situations may do something for stbxw - but really do nothing for you.
