I really and truly am thankful she was kind enough to pick me up after all. I am just not comfortable with having someone who has made me out to be her worst enemy, at times, as the person I had to rely upon. Yes, she's moved on -- and I have to address that vacuum in my life. I realize that, as it should be in a marriage, we covered for each other in so many subtle ways, on so many levels. She has him now. And I my flanks are very much exposed.
I once thought it didn't matter where in the world we were -- West Coast, East Coast, wherever, near family or far -- as long as we had each other. We were enough family for each other for most things. Now that is gone, and I am just continuing to ponder what to do about that, if anything can be done.
Originally Posted By: Gypsy
Also.. in regards to your children, "...unfortunately they're too young for me to rely on them for help." Drop that thought like a burning hot coal in your hand. You are the father, you are the parent. They are the children. YOU are their support system, never the other way around.
I do understand. What I meant was that, given the context of my preceding thoughts, my two sons are the closest family to me now, both emotionally and in proximity. But they are my children and I cannot lean on them as my family -- it is, as you state, strictly the other way around. This just underscores how isolated I feel from adult family.
Perhaps it is because it has been well more than a year since I've seen anyone in my extended family that I am feeling so lonely for that kinship most particularly. And given that my employer has shot down any of my requests to schedule vacation until at least after October, if ever, (due to this @#$%^@ project we're on) I feel a bit more depressed about that than normal.
I have felt very vulnerable and out-of-sorts this week. I'm still working through this, quite obviously.
