Hey Coach...even when he is giving good advice, he keeps us entertained, eh??
Had kind of bad day yesterday. My mother who is 85 ended up in the hospital last night. Got a phone call from my brother in the afternoon.
It was not an emergency sitch, but more because she is having so much joint pain and getting weaker(heart trouble, severe arthritis). We would like to see her get into a rehab unit for a few weeks to help her get her strength back. The trip home really knocked her for a loop and she has had a rough week.
The doctor cannot admit her directly to rehab and he suggested a route through ER, to admission to the hospital for 3 days and then rehab, which is what we are trying.
This all hit me pretty hard yesterday for some reason. Part of it is just the general stress I have right now, but I think also the realization that she may be towards the end of her being able to care for herself(barely as it is now, with assistance), and stay at home with my brother and SIL.
We have talked about assisted living or a nursing home in the past, and I believe we are at a point now that the family will have to get together and make plans to get her taken care of. My siblings are not known for "working together" when it comes to family matters like this and I am sure this will just be the beginning of some stressful times.
My father died about 8 years ago. The year before he passed he spent a lot of time in and out of the hospital and it was me that took on the brunt of coordinating his care, spending time with him, getting him back and forth to the doctors, etc. I think when there is one one person that steps up and handles things like this in a family, the others tend to step back, relax and let them do it.
That was what happened with my Dad and it turned out to be a pretty rough year for me, culminating in his last hospital stay and him passing with just myself and my older by his side.
Seeing my mother now, and thinking about that time with my father really got to me yesterday and on the way home I got myself into a sobbing mess. By the time I got home to my wife I had stopped, but when I sat down to tell her what was going on, it just started all over.
As I talked to her between the sobs and tears, she came over to me and held me and let me put her head on her shoulder and I knew she understood, because she was there. She saw what I went through with my Dad, and I told her that if that is what we are looking at now, with my mother, there is just no way that I can be the one that everyone is going to look to for guidance and to make sure everything gets handled. I can't do it again, not now.
Bill and Forrest, thanks. I read your posts and hear you guys loud and clear. Things feel good right now and I know we have been here numerous times over the months.I am trying to stay focused and get past the cycles....going with the flow and trying to believe my intuition, which is telling me good things right now.
Have to believe more in the person I have become and believe that she sees it....maybe she does not accept it, yet, but she sees, she is watching and each day maybe just a small piece of that wall IS coming down.
