I found out my husband has been cheating for a long time with few women. He was treating me badly and wasnt spening any time with me. I was moody nagging suspicous and crying.
About two weeks ago i tried doing a 180, didnt ask where he was, stopped phoning, stopped complaining, was happy friendly bubbly. He was shocked began being nice to me and spends more time with me. But thats not enough because he is still cheating.
Is there any other solutions that anyone can think of please
Other than complaining, what have been the consequences to him of you finding out he's cheating?
It's difficult to give you advice without more information, Sabrina. How long have you been married? Children? What ages? Has your husband known that YOU know that he's been cheating, and for how long?
I wish there was a formula I could give you, Sabrina, to make your H stop cheating. You are doing the right things with the 180. Keep doing that and also GAL. But ultimately, you can't make your H stop cheating on you. He has to decide for himself. You can do all that you can to make yourself more appealing to him and to make yourself feel better about yourself. Keep posting! Many people here can give much better advice than I ever could.
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
I agree with everything Sara said. But at some point I think you also have to decide when to stop tolerating your H cheating and disrespecting you. I think it hurts your self-esteem and PMA and all that to live with a cheating H. But Puppy knows way more about that than I do!!! I do also think 180s and DBing and GALing will help you, increase your self-confidence and make you stronger which is really good. Karen
Karen is right. There will come a time where you will have to ask yourself, "how much of this am I willing to live with?" It is okay if you aren't at that point right now. I know that I allowed my XH to have his affair for a while as I was trying to do things to improve my marriage. Everyone was telling me that I needed to take a stand and make him stop the cake eating. But really, I needed time to figure things out. Realizing the man you love has been cheating on you is a shock and it isn't wise to rush into any decisions until YOU are ready. Keep that in mind, Sabrina. But when the time comes where you hit your limit with him and the affairs (and you will know when it happens), you will have several choices available to you.
Hang in there!
Sara
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
My reactions in the past have me been screaming crying begging shouting and made empty threats. When i found things out, he never seems to stay with on woman but when he is seeing someone it will be for a few months and at the beging his attitude is nasty.
But now he thinks i dont know about his infideliaty but i do. I stopped reacting and he has tried to provoke me for a reaction and i didnt fight with him. But the other day he was sure that i would fight him as he came home with a love bite and said it was a rash. I have done my best not to react because the fights affect me and my children more than they affect him.
But me not reacting to him has made him feel insecure about me he checks on me and accuses me.
Sorry also i have been married for 8 years but he became really nasty when i was pregnant with my first child and things have just gone from bad to worse in the last 3 years
GAL = Get a life. Doing things that YOU enjoy and not just sitting at home feeling bad because your husband is cheating.
Me-31 H-38 M: 5 yrs T: 7 yrs No kids Went to Prostitutes 10-1-06 Found out about OW 12-24-07 Bomb on EA/PA: 1-2-08 OW ended it with H "for good" 3-8-08 OW is back 4-19-08 H and OW tell me that they are in love 5-19-08 Filed for divorce 6-5-08 Divorced 7-2-08
Reactions in the past have me been screaming crying begging shouting and made empty threats. When I found things out, he never seems to stay with on woman but when he is seeing someone it will be for a few months and at the begging his attitude is nasty.
But now he thinks I don’t know about his infidelity but I do. I stopped reacting and he has tried to provoke me for a reaction and I didn’t fight with him. But the other day he was sure that I would fight him as he came home with a love bite and said it was a rash. I have done my best not to react because the fights affect me and my children more than they affect him.
But me not reacting to him has made him feel insecure about me he checks on me and accuses me. Also I have been married for 8 years but he became really nasty when I was pregnant with my first child and things have just gone from bad to worse in the last 3 years
