Pity parties are fine until they get too warm. (For some reason I always imagine my pity party in a pool.. sometimes a baby pool, if you get my drift!)
Here's another perspective:
She took the day off of work to help you out just in case . You needed help, she found a way to do it. Let go of the fact he was there to pick her up, and she needed the mortgage payment. She drove you home, met her obligation and was content to talk on the cellphone outside. Her choice. When sitting on a sidewalk is better than hospitality.. guess what.. she's gone.
Going out a few minutes later for the mail (and check on her) after a procedure where you're supposed to be sleeping is called.. pursuing. Of course she gave you that look. She has moved on and can't be anymore clear about it.
Also.. in regards to your children, "...unfortunately they're too young for me to rely on them for help." Drop that thought like a burning hot coal in your hand. You are the father, you are the parent. They are the children. YOU are their support system, never the other way around.
Mr. Code.. You are an intelligent man deeply wounded. Your life is about her, how what she does hurts you. That way of thinking makes you a martyr, a victim. It's your choice how you continue.
I do the same with with the guy I married. Writing to you crystalizes my situation. He's moved out and on with her, out of my life, rarely sees the kids.
On the plus side, she helped you out.
On the negative side, you had expectations.
Net net, she cared. She did it for you.
Her actions show something. Let it be.
Spend time finding you, getting out of your head.
Time to get out and DO. Find interests, be social. Let the people around you get to know the No Code we adore.
*hugs*
Stop for a moment and consider about the house/home. If you feel you can, ask to talk about it. Perhaps she can afford to move because she won't be paying that much. Make sure that pride does not get in the way of finances.
If you're concerned about the house selling, agree on a drop dead price. The divorce process creates financial ruin if emotions run the show. Be aware of that.
