Momof2 - a question: did your H sort of roll in and out of MLC mode for a while afterward, quite a while even in places or different areas of his personality? Mine is in "let's purchase the moon" mode one minute and cautious the next. I expect him to still have remnants of this for a while and the sitch with the outgoing OW is going to take some time to deal with. ("She's a headcase" - in his words).*grin* Momof 2, any advice on how to ride the ebbs and flow of MLCing during this?
I've taken the "listen advice" to really mean a couple of things... of course, they need the soft place to fall etc,... but also they have to be "indulged" I think. They be the center of the attention. It's about "them"... at this stage. Easier than I thought it would be,... I guess getting what I want (him and I trying to work this out)... does make putting my stuff on the back burner easier. Some things he says twinge, but I'm determined to not let those things get to me. Also pick the right time to introduce the twinge (a day later etc)... so I'm not emotional about it and it can be discussed easily.
So anyway... We had 2 more sleep overs. Both Thurs and Friday night (although Thursday was pre-empted by the OW losing her nut and him having to high tail it out of here to go deal with yet another of her many melt downs. - don't ask!) He came back to catch some z's with me about 4 am.
After the lovely Wednesday where we ML, actually I took some of Transformers advice and got some sexy things to wear... and bought this book called Red Hot Touch. He LOVED the things I learned. Neat book actually. Explicit, and showing you how to use your hands to really hit all the pleasure areas - and give ya some new tricks. I was racing around last night (Friday) before he got here... getting pieces of fake fur, dangly jewelery to tickle his skin with, etc. Was fun to make a "toy box". I'm heading to the dollar store today
H has been burning the candle at both ends during this (and dealing with her melt downs for weeks now).. and he was so relaxed that he actually fell asleep. I'm not disappointed. He actually fell asleep in my arms before OW's Thursday melt down, again afterwards,... and again last night. He felt bad that I had planned out the stuff, (including the 2nd sexy bra)...and he was just so zonked that he went into a deep, deep relaxed sleep. Frankly, I feel that just dropping into such a relaxed state is as good as ML. It means he's letting himself be comfortable with me... that's a good step forward.
We've been talking on the phone 3 and 4 times a day... and had a relationship talk ... talking about how couples have to protect their number 1 priority towards each other beyond anyone else. (It was in relation to her becoming completely out of the picture). He agreed... that she will need to be COMPLETELY out of our lives... so that we can make a strong unit and work on just one another. His words: (Since I was the one who introduced the concept and said that he'll need to get off the roller coaster and stop "rescuing" her)... was "Absolutely". We agreed that there will be a few people in our lives that will be complete "no go" zones. No contact zones. She... and the guy that he thinks I had this affair with,... will obviously be part of that package.
So that's it for now... need coffee, need a shower,... and off to the dollar store I go!
*hugs to everyone* Abbey
T:22, M:20 H:55 Me:45 H-OW PA: N/07 OW Jan08 Bomb:Feb/08 S: Apr/08 Back together Ap1/09-Sept/11 Oct, 2011, uncertain future/H is a mess. Dec/11 - Doin'friend mode. Some days are better than others.
I'm heading to the dollar store today 