Well just got back from lunch today at work. My W makes my lunches and stuff. That is so nice of her. Today she left me a nice like note. wow that made me feel good. the last couple of days she has seemed to try a little harder with the whole physical touch thing.
I do know that one of her LL is word of affirmation(sp). I need to do a better job at using those. I have been journaling lately and when I go back and look at it things are going better. Some times I need to step back and look at the big pitcher. I need to look at the whole forest instead of just the trees.
I want you all to know I appreciate you all when I come here it helps me out a lot to see the perspective of other people.
Quote: Today she left me a nice like note. I do know that one of her LL is word of affirmation
YES!!! You are on the right track! She is obviously using her LL to express her love (or like for now....) for you! I am glad to see things are going well for you!!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Hi Lee! Things are going much much better- I also think that the communication needs work, but you said it wazs improving, and you are both speaking your own love languages and maybe not the other's LL. Keep contemplating this and maybe you leave her some notes! It always takes longer than you think I have found out. And I hate it when that "empty" feeling sneaks in- I think it is lack of communication and no connection going on. It seems to help if i make an effort to talk more on deeper levels. You really have made so much progress in your R so quickly! Have a great day Lee! write her a note- ILU or something funny only you 2 know about- inside joke kind of stuff- you know what I mean!! C-ya! LOL Shay
It seems like things are moving slowly in the right direction. If you know her LL, can you do something small each day that feeds into that. I know someday we need to have our needs met, but experiment with focusing on her LL and see what happens.
I understand that empty feeling. I agree it does subside, but it always seems to be lurking in the background. Hopefully it will eventually dissapear for good.
Lee, I hope your PMA returns soon! It sounds like you are wanting more excitement. I know you're not wanting to _talk_ about intimacy, but what about having the house filled with candles and soft music some evening when she comes home! If she freaks out, you can just say you were wanting to give her a backrub or snuggle or just relax.
Have a great weekend, and hang in there. I think your W is trying, too.
Just coming to update every one. So on friday my W and I are driving in the car. She makes this statment. So we need to hurry up and make some babies. I say ok. Im thinking yeah what ever you need to make love once in a while to make babies. Then she says so we need to start having sex every day. By the way this is kind of a negitive post by me today. So im thiking there is no possible way that will happen. So I have been thinking the last 2 days if she can start doing this more frequently to have a baby why cant she do this stuff to help me feel better about the relationship.
So then it has crossed my mind that sex for her is a mind thing. All she needs to do to be in the mood and enjoy it is for her to want to. I have been thinking this for a long time now. Now my goal is to figure out what it takes for her to be in this frame of mind on a regular basis.
I have been using words of affrimation a lot. I have also been doing acts of service for her. Those are her two love languages as far as I can tell. So my goal is to try and learn them and become an expert in those two LL. What im going to do is reread those chapters in the book and also I will pratice at this I will find 5 things a DAY that I compliment my W on. Im going to see if this works.
Quote: So then it crossed my mind that sex for her is a mind thing......Now my goal is to figure out what it takes for her to be in this frame of mind on a regular basis.
YOu've got it! Way to go, Lee!! This is great! You are doing a great job of using your resources to set goals for yourself. What a great example.
The house filled with candles and soft music sound really good! How about having a nice bubble bath ready for her when she gets home, with some scented candles lit and a new magazine to read. Then just go about your business like you expect nothing. How about having some flowers sitting on the table? Or giving her some love coupons like you suggested for my H? Back rub, breakfast in bed, massage... just a few ideas. You are doing so well! Your post wasn't negative at all!
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
wow that made me feel good. the last couple of days she has seemed to try a little harder with the whole physical touch thing. 
