So I made it 5 miles yesterday, actually 5.61 by the time I stopped (incl. my cool-down jogging). Hooray! And I got something published in an on-line site for ELL teachers. So pretty good week for me...
H called a couple times today. He was back in Buffalo from Toronto waiting to fly out. He said he had seen Niagara Falls again, which for some reason prompted me to look it up on the computer so I could show S6. (It was right after school, we were in my classroom.) So I am showing S6 pictures and then on the sides are adds for fancy falls-view hotel suites.
S says, "that's where you and daddy could go". I said, "where?" He pointed to a picture of a man and woman in a 2 person-jacuzzi bubble bath-thing, with their heads close together. I said, "You think Daddy and I should do that?" S6 says, "Yeah, since you got back together and we are a family again you should do that." Then he got up and went to the other side of the room real fast to draw on my board. I wasn't quite sure I heard him right, I said "What?" S said, "Since you moved back together....never mind..." and got all embarrassed. I just said, yes, it would be nice to celebrate since we are living in the same house again.
So obviously S still thinks about it...
And H called a short time later to say that his flight out of buffalo into Chicago was delayed for no apparent reason....he said they were expected in after his flight to Omaha was scheduled to depart, so he'd most likely be spending the night tonight in Chicago. I was disappointed of course, but couldn't help but have my antenna perk up, too. He used the "canceled flight" on me once to go see OW....plus we all know he took her on a few trips in the not-to-distant past...
I reminded myself, from Retro, that "Trust is a Decision". I decided to go with it, I would figure out eventually if it were a lie, anyway. H had called from the airport, I could hear the announcers in the background. He texted me later that there was now a 50/50 chance he could catch the connecting flight....then he called to say he'd landed in Chicago 40 minutes AFTER his flight left for Omaha. He was pissy b/c he didn't have his suitcase, and the airline claimed "weather" so they wouldn't have to pay for his hotel room. He told me the name of his hotel, which was good, but I still had this nagging feeling...
Well God is always looking out for me. H tried to call my cell from his to say he made it to the hotel room. I couldn't hear him, it kept having dead air spaces. H was frustrated I couldn't hear him, and I got tired of trying so I hung up (not in a mean way!). A couple minutes later he texted me w/his hotel room number and asked me to call him. So I did, and he answered. Said he was flat out exhausted, could I call the room back at 4:30 and give him a wakeup call? (H flies out again at 6:30 a.m.)
So I decided he wouldn't possibly have someone there, and still have me call his room tonight, plus ask me to call it tomorrow...
I wish I could just not even think like that, but that will probably take a long, long time. Something I try not to feel resentful about. I want to be able to just believe in my Husband, not have these doubts/worries.
