Red, hon--could those feelings of repulsion be connected to hormonal stuff? I know my mom was like that with my (very sweet) dad a lot when she was going through 'the change'...not that you are, but sometimes when those things get out of whack, herbs or medications can help soften the raw edges. Just a thought. I'm glad you're feeling better.
It could be hormonal. Ever since I got my hysterectomy, but my ovaries are still in, I have no idea when I'm pms'ing b/c I don't have a period, but since I still have my ovaries, I still pms. Great, huh?
Yeah, things are much better
How about you? Just still smooth sailing along (kinda like me?)?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
You know my sitch well and that I have/ had problems with the exclusivity in our M thing after H's A.
For me, the best way to handle it was to look at us being M'd twice. Once from our first M to when he had the A and then secondly from when we renewed our vows onwards. Does that make sense?
When I am hurting inside about it all I get resentful and don't want H to touch me, he actively repulses me when I am feeling like that. They just don't get it - and to be honest....I believe unless I did the same thing to my H he still wouldn't get it. He say's he would be able to forgive and move on.....but as we all know, until you actually are put in that position you DON'T know how you will react.
I think that what you are feeling is completely normal and that you will go through these cycles. They will get gradually less intense and longer periods will go between them until they drift away.....but you will never forget completely - nor should you, or you may repeat the same mistakes.
I was lucky, my H told me I was much better than OW and he did it without any prompting....but it took a good year to hear that. Your H has made it very clear what his choice is- don't be so hard on yourself.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
Thanks, girl! Hope you are doing well w/ EVERYTHING. Seems you have other issues, not just the marriage thing, you know? (your pain etc)
Anyway, I'm doing better. I think maybe the things that were said during that last argument may have sent my subconscious into overdrive or something. I coudn't exactly put my finger on why I was feeling the way I was & I couldn't just *make it go away either*.
Then, on the other hand, I always think of all the people on this Board & others that would absolutely DIE to be where my H and I are right now and I do feel guilty.
Oh well, at least I am usually feeling very positively about everything these days.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
H and I are currently looking at coming out to the States again next year. It works well from a timing point of view re kids exams etc....It's always nice to have something good to look forward to.
Saffie me 46 H 46 M in 1986 D20,D18,S16,D13 H's A 01/05 to 07/06 H recommitted to M 07/06 renewed vows 09/06 Going from strength to strength
