Hi Lee, I agree with Ellie - maybe your wife was able to relax enough after being out with you and having fun, that she was more interested in sex. Maybe your 180 and the date were positives for her. Hang in there. You are doing a great job, as usual. Thinking of you ~
Mockers2
"Somehow we survive, and tenderness frustrated does not wither." Dennis Brutus, South African poet
"That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Hi Lee, I used to do the same thind your W does- drink and sex and looking back it seems that drinking made me forget all the things I was holding a grudge about or forget that H didnt make me feel emotionally attached but more like I owed it to him. Sex I mean so I thought I was not important to him because he was more concerned about how often he got sex and not about my feelings. Communication improvements make my H sexier to me every time.
Well just thought I should update this a little bit. It seems as though this 180 is working a little bit she was telling me the other day how she likes certain things some times and such. I just played it like it was really intersting but then didn't come close to jumping her bones or anything like that. I think that kind of caught her by suprise. The other things I have been doing is not really even talking about it at all. Just talking about everything else and trying to be as fun to be around as possible. Have been smiling and laughing and such. The only problem is I don't know how long this can last with me. Some times Im thinking im tired of this and that why should I have to put up with this. Pretending that im ok and that not being intimate on a regular basis is not bugging me. Then I think well it seems to be working because she now comes home and gives me a big ole hug and stuff. So im being kind of a yo-yo the more it works the easier it will be to be positive about this.
Quoting Lee: The only problem is I don't know how long this can last with me. Some times Im thinking im tired of this and that why should I have to put up with this. Pretending that im ok and that not being intimate on a regular basis is not bugging me.
Hi Lee, 180's and Acting "As-if" are inherently transitional until the outcome of your goal is reached, but you are a goal achiever with a track history that got you this far ... so you will get there! ... so long as you are determined to.
Lee, Thanks for posting on my thread... WHAT am I doing??? I mean, my H has been with another women for 7 months and I am still waiting? Why??? Do I have no self respect? He threw our entire relationship and family away. And lied to me for 6 months. Why do I keep waiting? For what? Hoping the pig will come out of his fog? I am the only one he treats like crap... well, me and the kids. He has nothing to do with them either. So he can screw his nurse???? Why am I doing this? Why not say see you and start over? I DO NOT DESERVE THIS.
Sorry to rant on your thread, guess I was hoping for a man's point of view.
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
holdingon~~ I think there are times when we all feel like this, for one reason or another! I am interested to hear a male's perspective too. Mine is that I have to have patience and trust in DBing and that I am doing the right thing because if I can save this M it will be better than ever. Visiting this BB helps my PMA so much!!!!
Grislen~~ Keep up the good wrok! You have done such a great job so far...I will remind you of what so many people here remind me...PATIENCE and TIME are the key!! Hmmm, I think you said that to me earlier on my thread!!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Quote: Some times Im thinking im tired of this and that why should I have to put up with this. Pretending that im ok and that not being intimate on a regular basis is not bugging me. ------------------------------------------------------------ lee, the harsh reality is that if you can't/don't want to put up with it, there will be no intimacy at all. Your 180 is definetly working here. Don't give up. Remember, its going to take time to do this, and you have to accept that.
Grislen~~ Scott is right! Sometimes you just have to hear/see it here to believe it! You are doing the right thing--it just takes TIME! Hope you have a good weekend!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Well so my W has decided that she is going off of BC(birth control). She says she is worried that it is causing some of the problems that she has been having lately. So that is kind of worrying me. I dont want to have an oooops and bring a child into this R. So right now maybe this very limited Intimate contact is a good thing. Trying to find a silver lining somewhere.
