JEN!!! Uhhh first I will give you hugs ((((Jen))))
You can't go looking for things....when you do you are bound to find something...even if it's innocent your mind will automatically do the "uh huh" and you will think the worst. And hitting is baadd. I had anger problems also and I did hit H a few times before we got M. There was some problems that we had about 8 years ago and after seperating for a few months we got back together but I still harboured so much resentment that I would get angry over stupid things and "attack" him. I did get help for this and have not lashed out in over 7 years.
About the snooping thing also...it shows him that you still do not trust him. I wouldn't be surprised he sets "traps" now to make sure you will stop snooping as my H did. The last month he was living here he was sleeping in the livingroom and left a paper on the table. I being the noisey snooper went looking at it, nothing on it that concerned me but H had put the paper at a certain angle just to see if I would snoop. Grrrr!! It only validated for him "why it couldn't work".
I am glad that you are able to redeem yourself tonight and that he was open to dinner. Good luck sweetie...remember before you react to anything take a deep breathe and think "will reacting now take me further or closer to my goal and will the gang on DB 2x4 me?"
I guess there are always two sides to every story. I snooped and found what I shouldn't have and then I started thinking the worst and according to him there was a logical explanation. Sure logical for him but I get it.
Did your H know you looked at the paper?
I guess I need to make it easy to return and not so easy to stay away.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Yea he knew that I looked at the paper. We "talked" that night and he brought it up and used it as a validation that I don't trust him and we weren't gonna work. He told me how he laid the paper on some exact angle and alined it with something else so he knew if it was moved an inch. I wish I had you guys and my DR book back then.
Exactly!!! Be the kindest sweetest piece of pie he has ever seen tonight!! You have another chance.....use it!!
So are you prepared for tonite? Watch your drinking (me speaking from experience), look great, don't seem too interested but look interesting, play some cool music (maybe something he hasn't heard), make your home inviting - get all the senses involved. If my wife was coming over and I was cooking it would be a trap that she would want to fall into. I wouldn't have to push. Check your negative emotions at the door and be a vixen. We all know you can pull this off for you. Be the complete package, God now I'm getting excited. Make yourself irresistable. If he can't see it then oh well his loss. But you will know you are a catch. That's the point, your opinion is the one that matters. Go for it. We are all rooting for you! Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I've owed you a hug for a while. Be your best tonight. Cheers friend
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I wish I had you guys and my DR book back then.