ok so now you know not to do this again. but the end result is that he is coming for dinner. i would just drop it. clearly he is ok with whatever you did. but dont do it again.
now you can start FRESH. start over.
treat him better than you ever have.
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
I'm going to cook salmon pasta for dinner and act like we're one big happy family I won't mention anything from today and continue as if it never happened. I guess that's the best option.
**He had a business card tucked into a flap and I asked what it was but he just tucked it further in. So I got suspicious and when he was gone I looked at the card. It was a real estate agent. Then I remembered how he acted about the card. I got suspicious and pulled down the sun visor **
Last edited by JenInVen; 09/12/0806:46 PM.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen Jen [ quote] Then he gets a text message he started smiling so I said "you're sour with me but as soon as you get a text you light up" [/quote] And you expected what kind of response from that remark.....? Oh yeah you were being a PITA.
Be the woman that makes him light up!
You have another great opportunity tonight, act - preplan your thoughts, words, actions. If you don't know what to do just smile. No reacting. You know your not too cute for me to give you a 2x4. Oh,you are not a loser. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
It's killing your chances of regaining anything with him. Even if he listened and didn't get mad, it's still a bad spot, and not good for anything you've accomplished.
Make the best of Dinner tonight!
(((Jen)))
FLoyd The grass is always GREENER over the septic tank.
Wow.. gosh, well, it precipitated some honesty from him, which is a good thing and I dont see that he is done with you, but how many more chances does he have to give you before you change your ways !!?? My sister was like this you know (because of PMT), they were together for 12 years, M, then D in that time and still got back together..sort of..he kept on the fence.. but then one day.. that was it, he was done. He met someone else (a chilled out yoga teacher!).
Quote:
But I think we had a bit of a backslide today....I yelled, screamed and hit I couldn't believe what I had found. He just took it all in and didn't try to fight me when I punched and slapped him.
..blimey! Jen, you arent together, so as mad and upset as you are about it...you dont really have the right to punch and slap your ex!? Although maybe noone should punch and slap their partner either ! Have you thought about anger management classes!??
Seriously, I'm so glad he's coming for dinner.. and yes, I think you should apologise, but quickly and then let it go. Good luck !!! Al xxx
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
Coach Coach...I wish you would give me a 2X4! I deaserve it big time. So I'll keep calm tonight and let everything slide.
Floyd...I know about the snooping. he explained to me that we are D and I have to stop hassling him. When I hassle he gives me sh!t and we both end up miserable. That's another clue from him I think. From now on only light fun convos and no hassling
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Ali...thanks for telling me about you sis. I think my biggest fear is for him to find someone else although I haven't shown him that I can be that someone. I have been thinking of taking up Yoga and now might be a good time. It'll def. help with anger management.
I do loose my temper sometimes and no form of violence is justifiable. I feel bad for my actions but I think he understands a bit. I'm going to aploigize for that tonight and then get on with a nice quiet evening with just the 3 of us.
It wa good that he agreed to "try and be friends" by coming to dinner tonight. I can do this...I know I can!
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
You are divorced. Not nice, but it is the fact. He can have whatever pics he wants in his car! And it sounds like they were not something he was gazing at every day! A reaction like that is going to sabotage the good stuff you are doing! You can't let that happen!
OK, no more accusing him of being sour, either! If he wants to be sour, you have to let him! You can't stop it, and for now you need to let it roll off of your back. In his mind the only thing he owes you is civil coparenting. Getting back together is your goal, not his.
If you can show him that you can be the someone he can find, then it can become his goal. I don't think beating him up, and talking about his sour attitude is going to get you there, do you? I still think you can do this, but you need to consider what your goal is, and how everything that you do can either bring you closer to the goal, or move it away.
So what are you going to do if you feel a even a twinge of a backslide? What triggers it for you? List it out and if it comes up how are you going to cope? Just imagine all of us standing there with 2x4s saying don't do it Jen, don't do it! I observe that you go from 0-60 in two seconds flat. You need a barrier up in those two seconds to stop yourself. You need to view this is a date tonite, how are you going to act to get another date? Make this fun for you. Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I won't mention anything from today and continue as if it never happened. I guess that's the best option.
