We're never getting back together-How do you cope?

[native]

Yeah, W has been snappy when I've been on my best behaviour. I understand she is unhappy and confused and stressed out at work, but I really don't appreciate being a whipping post for her frustrations,etc.

I read somewhere once that we teach our spouses how to treat us by what we allow them to do. So I must have allowed her to treat me badly in our marriage.

The thing about my W is that, she is 3x more sensitive than the average woman. Sensitive to hurts, medications, disturbances, anything. It takes her that much longer to recover from stuff as well, so if the rule of thumb is 1 mo. seperation for every year of marriage, I have 7 x 3 = 21 months to wait, that is, if I don't screw it up. I am not sure I can wait that long or continue to take abuse.

And I really need her to change some as well. I don't mind getting the ball rolling, but if I don't see her respond to that and begin her journey of emotional/spiritual growth in our M, then I'm going to be really discouraged.

Tired of carrying the weight of our life together on my own.

And then that recent flirtation with the extremely attractive young woman at d's daycare. I just want a woman who can show interest in me and that she appreciates me. I know I can do that better now than perhaps I did with my W, but I don't think she ever did any of that for me since we were married. It has seemed she has been rather self centered for a long time.