Well here is day one of my new 180. Yesterday, W started aiming me pretty much all light stuff. She started talking how she wanted to buy all this stuff and put it on credit. She knows my View on this. So then she metions while we are typing that buy baby stuff makes her excited wink wink. I type back to her "kewl" and leave it at that. No more inunendo(sp).
I get home from work and she is there just lying on the watching TV so I say hello and she says hello. Kind of leaves it at that. So I say so where is my hug she says im to tired to get off the couch. So im thinking to myself great when you get home I get my lazy a$$ off the couch and give her a hug. So I sit down for a minute then go upstairs and hop on the comp.
My W starts getting ready to go to work. Im downstairs she gets out of the show and such and came down stairs with out much on I with hold my comment and just kind of ignore it and watch TV. So im holding my resolve together to not want intimacy we will see how this all works.
I am not going to stop doing those things. But Im also not going to press on those either. If she doesnt want to do that Im going to be fine with it and do what ever.
Hi Lee - I've followed your sitch for a while don't think I've posted though. You mentioned 'baby stuff' - are you guys expecting? If you are I may have missed it in one of your other threads. If not be very careful of bringing a little person into your sitch. I'm sure you already know that but I've had friends who (wrongly) thought having children would fix their problems. It didn't and now they have kids who will grow up in a broken home. I'm sure you don't need anyone to tell you but I just see your desire for physical intimacy and her (possible) desire for children as a recipe for a family. I know from my sitch that splitting up and leaving children behind is a very very painful thing. I wouldn't totally reject the children idea but would try to get the idea across that the R should be stronger first. Just my .02 for what it is worth. Wishing you and your W the best!
Well from what I gathered from her aim message that looking at this stuff makes her horny basically. Which I think is a bunch of BS. That is why I think that she uses sex as a weapon. That assumption may be wrong but that is the way it comes across. If she can get horny for that it is obviously a mind thing and that she seems to be playing games. On the other hand maybe she was being sarcastic becuase on instant messanger it is hard to show that you are being sarcastic.
Also I do know that that is why im a little worried about things. She wants a baby and wants to start working on having one. I also want another child but dont want to have one and then have this thing go south. Right now I dont think that we are out of the woods on this thing yet.
Hey, Lee, sorry I've been away for so long. Looks like I've missed out on quite a bit!
God, the sex stuff is so complicated. I'm surprised your W is pushing for a child. I agree that it is probably too early for that. Some people think that having a child can solidify a relationship that might be a little shaky. Some people think the opposite. I think it's risky at this point, but a good sign that she's headed in that direction.
i agree w/everyone else....be very careful. Bringing a child in is the last thing that you would want to do in your sitch....Your just starting to try and work everything out. Although i know it sounds fun, best off to wait a bit and see where the M is down the road. Also i wouldn't agree w/wife or say cool if she says she's thinking about having another child. That's sending the wrong idea to her. just me 2 cents!
I reading a few threads and this one caught my eye. One major sticking point with my H and me (sep for 8 mos ) when we were together was having children. I never felt we were ready and i think he felt a baby would improve things. We have just started some R talks again and it has already come up..."if we get back, will we have baby?" It is hard for me think about right now and answer. Any ideas? Suggestions? Thanks! BTW, my whole post is in Newcomers-HELP big talk on Sunday!
Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder.... (thoreau)
Well Day 1 has passed, Not a whole lot to report. I have not even metentioned(sp) Intimacy and such. Still giving hugs and kisses where approiate(sp). W has not tried to iniate any thing of that sort with me. I have not talked to her about the baby thing yet but will be when there is more solid ground. She called me at work to say hi and such. We talked about just light stuff mostly.
The 180 is going ok I am sticking to it this time and will be journalling my days and what happened and what didnt. I have a feeling it will be a while before intimacy so I am preparing for the worst. Then again I went 4 months with out it before so I think I can wait a week or two.
) when we were together was having children. I never felt we were ready and i think he felt a baby would improve things. We have just started some R talks again and it has already come up..."if we get back, will we have baby?" It is hard for me think about right now and answer. Any ideas? Suggestions? Thanks! BTW, my whole post is in Newcomers-HELP big talk on Sunday!