Well I can tell you this...I wouldn't have listened for too long without letting him know that what he has experienced is what he has done...
As far as the suicidal comments...well, there you might need to draw a line...do you really want the responsibility of trying to make sure he doesn't do something stupid...because if he did it would make you feel that you failed him somehow...instead the next time he did this I would call 9-1-1...I would not even think twice just because he works with these people either...I called on my H twice...I did not want that hanging on me if he did follow through...and you can't stay up all night on the phone to make sure they don't either...
I understand your need to not reject him because of how you felt...but there is a way to let someone know that they are crossing bounderies...even though you said it didn't bother you like before it is still an emotional drain that you don't need...and he needs to respect that...he can call a hotline...his therapist...another "friend" who hasn't screwed over...but everytime he does this and you reply it reaffirms to him that you are there for him no matter what (no matter if he is throwing you aside for OW)...that even though you have told him you don't want to hear about OW he can still call you and put on the show and you will still listen...he tests the boundries and you move them...like with a child...if they are not set and enforced then your child will not respect them
I think you might need to speak to someone about this...it isn't healthy not be able to tell someone "no" and stand up for yourself...it isn't good that you put too much feeling for them and less for yourself...and I have to wonder how much begging it would take him to come home...he has tested the waters and you stood your ground...so he comes in for the weak spot...gets you to listen to how desperate he is about OW...he will try again...and keep trying until he wears you down...
Kissak, I say this because I can tell you without a doubt that I allowed my H home too soon...yes, we worked it out but it was touch and go...I know you have been through the in/out many times before but coming home too soon can be worse then not ever coming home...something to really really think about because I think you will be facing that soon!
Linda...all my opinion for what it is worth...take it or leave it
