Ok but I wish I had a sail boat...for smooth sailing. I think playing the jealously card is something I might need to do a little more of (wink wink)
He was here for about an hour to settle some computer issues and we discussed our plans for tomorrow. He was on the phone a little bit and sent a couple of messages and I ignored him and the phone There was one call where I asked who it was because I kind of knew anyway by the way the convo went. It was his 16 year old GodSon requesting a ride to the mall.
I'm going out tonight. The time there lets me forget about xH and our problems. It's a time to joke and chat with new friends.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Hi Guys! I had a great time. I called xh before I left so I could talk to D but she was off playing with friends. We chatted for a couple minutes and he asked if I wanted him to call back and I said "no, you don't have to. Just tell D that Mommy called to say hi" There was an awkward silence and told him I had to go with a huge smile. On my way there (I walked) I ran into FIL He asked where I was going and I told him X tasca and when I left him I was still smiling. I wonder if he told xh he say me last night.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
Hi Jen- its is weird for them to say things like i dont know where you have been...i dont truly think he believes you have been anywhere else..but it is his insecurity - thats all....
you seem to be doing better and im happy for you!
keep on truckin'!
Pisces M 31 H 32 M 7 yrs S 5/10 Beginning Contact! Vibes Hot Tub Cheese
Hi P thanks but I think we had a bit of a backslide today
He picked me up from a clients today and as usual was a tad sour. Then he gets a text message he started smiling so I said "you're sour with me but as soon as you get a text you light up" So we got into a bit of an arguement about how we are always sour and can't get along and he told me I was a PITA and I told him he was unfair etc, etc, etc. We changed the topic and all was settled down...
We went to pick D up from his parents house and he left me in the car for a few minutes. I snooped and found 2 pictures of the EA!!! I was so upset. He came to the car with D and I told him "you should take D back upstairs because you and I are gonna talk". I yelled, screamed and hit I couldn't believe what I had found. He just took it all in and didn't try to fight me when I punched and slapped him. he got a little angry but just let me get it out of my system. He dropped me off at another clients and left.
Later we were texting and then he called. We spoke for about 40 minutes. I was walking home crying away I felt like such a loser. I told him stuff and he told me stuff. He said that no matter what he tells me about those pictures I won't believe. We talked about us and how we drifted apart especially over the past year and that we can't be together because we fight. He said that the only time we can be in the same room together and NOT fight is when we're having sex (at least he remembers that!). It went on and he told me he has thought about coming home so many times but can't come back to our R. He said that after a while Love turned into obligation and he can't be married because of obligation. That maybe a couple years back we should have gone see a MC that who know what might have happened. He said that we don't work and he didn't know how we could. We both agreed that we want to be friends and D needs us to get along. We talked and listened to each other. We both know we need to try and get along.
At the end he asked me about D tonight. And asked if I was going out and I said no and I asked him and he said he didn't have any plans either. So I asked him to come to dinner. He asid he wasn't sure because I found the pics and it would be uncomfortable. I told him "if we are to be friends we should put this behind us. I was willing to try if he was" and he said ok he'd stay for dinner (yay)
Ok thats my book for today.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
I got my anger out for sure. I never hit him before but I was so angry I saw no other option All I really wanted was a hug tho. Do you think I should tell him I'm sorry or just let it go?
I won't be looking for anymore explanations from him. I asked him if he was happy and he said no. I think in order for me/us to move from this stupid EA is to drop it. I think I can and i know he wants it to go away. He still expects me to write on his headstone when he dies that he got emotionally close to someone other than his wife and to have D when she's 21 tell him how much he hurt her mom.
Jen *The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present*
There was one call where I asked who it was because I kind of knew anyway by the way the convo went. It was his 16 year old GodSon requesting a ride to the mall.
