I Guess I'm Still Piecing

[saffie]

Red,

You know my sitch well and that I have/ had problems with the exclusivity in our M thing after H's A.

For me, the best way to handle it was to look at us being M'd twice. Once from our first M to when he had the A and then secondly from when we renewed our vows onwards. Does that make sense?

When I am hurting inside about it all I get resentful and don't want H to touch me, he actively repulses me when I am feeling like that. They just don't get it - and to be honest....I believe unless I did the same thing to my H he still wouldn't get it. He say's he would be able to forgive and move on.....but as we all know, until you actually are put in that position you DON'T know how you will react.

I think that what you are feeling is completely normal and that you will go through these cycles. They will get gradually less intense and longer periods will go between them until they drift away.....but you will never forget completely - nor should you, or you may repeat the same mistakes.

I was lucky, my H told me I was much better than OW and he did it without any prompting....but it took a good year to hear that. Your H has made it very clear what his choice is- don't be so hard on yourself.