I was reading more of W's therapist's notes and W mentions how I have "no idea how much I've hurt her." In one sense it made me feel guilty as W truly believes I've done an incredible amount of damage to her.
On the other hand, it is frustrating b/c I've admitted that I didn't know what I was doing as I was in deep denial w/ my own issues. I was denying myself so there was zero way I could see her.
I guess it is frustrating b/c I get zero credit for working on me and coming to a place where I really can see other people's perspectives on things and look at how things affect more than just me. I'm still receiving 100% of the blame for our troubles. That is frustrating.
Also, if W never opened up to me about how she was "being hurt" then how could I have known? I can't read minds but yet I'm expected to be able to do so. Why weren't we in couples' counselling to work on these issues? Why would W run away and then point the finger back in my direction? It is really easy to blame after the fact, but why didn't she take positive action to help our marriage?
W will say she did take positive action b/c she left me. I don't see that as positive. I see that as giving up, giving in, and taking the easy way out. Maybe I'm wrong and selfish here, but that's how I see it. Am I off base?
