Husband's Missed Oppotunity #2

[blindsided1]

Ahhh, yes, it isn't enough just to "know" these things. I need to live them. See, I hear you Forrest. You are absolutely right that it doesn't matter what other people think. It's about me on the ring issue. So, for now, they stay on. Although, I will still probably remove them when I see H. The rings represent the love and committment I vowed to show my H, whether or not he is showing it to me. I still love him even if he is acting like poop. He is my family and I am his friend even if he doesn't want to be mine.

I stumble upon our wedding ceremony outline yesterday. I had forgotten how beautiful some of the passages from the readings were. I'd like to post one:

A Gift from the Sea/A Gift of the Sea, Anne Marrow Lindbergh

When you love someone, you do not love that person all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment. It is an impossibility. It is even a lie to pretend to. And yet this is exactly what most of us demand. We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships. We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb. We are afraid it will never return. We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity-in freedom, in the sense that the dancers are free, barely touching as they pass, but partners in the same pattern.

The only real security is not owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even. Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what was in nostalgia, nor forward to what might be in anticipation, but in living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now. Relationships must be like islands, one must accept them for what they are here and now within their limits-islands, surrounded and interrupted by the sea, and continually visited and abandoned by the tides. One must accept the security of the winged life, of the ebb and flow of intermittency.

I wish my H believed in this as much as I do.

So, yesterday was a good day. I made it so. I did not dwell nor did I even really think about him beyond hoping that he made it back from his out of town job, safely. Something strange though, I was looking at my phone at home (land line) and on the caller id was his phone number. He never calls that line - ever. There was no message, but it made me wonder why? No biggy, just weird. I'm not even going to mention it to him. Also, he is giving his dog away. The precious dog the he had to have, so OW bought it for him and called it "their baby" if any of you remember back that long ago. I told him that if he was going to take it to the pound or a rescue, to please let me know and I would take her. Poor dog - no loyalty there either. Amazing how true to his character my H is. He MUST have something and then when it's lost it's novelty, it's dispensable.

Today WILL be another good day. K was a very happy girl this morning and was wearing her little "Thumper" dress and flower slippers - she loves to stare at those little flowers on her feet. When I start to get sad - I pick her up and kiss her and if she isn't with me, I look at her picture. It brings me back to the present and ALL the wonderful things I HAVE in my life. I think that is also why I reach out to all of you. Wonderful people - I have a ton of those in my life. I have everything I NEED. There are just some things I WANT.

Have a great, happy day EVERYONE