I don't want to survive, I want to live

[cat03]

Haven't posted in a while...I still lurk and check on you all though

God has been awesome and has closed my wounds, I truly feel I have a brand new life and even if I still think of stbx, the worst of the ugliness has gone from my mind, only on those "time of the months" do I feel emotional.

Well, sure enough the R with ow has crashed and burned, after the desperate attempt on her part to tear him from the kids didn't work (he ended up buying his own place without her away from her area) seems they are not together anymore. And now that he's left like the proverbial dog who let go of the cheese he had to reach for the reflected one in the water he is alone, with his demons.
He tells me he's doing bad, has changed drs and is actually taking med for adhd, which is making him have bad mood swings and freak outs (he actually called me one day telling me he couldnt' make it, he'd had it with life).

He calls me, tells me he doesn't know what do to, the issues he's having with organizing himself, asks me how he should handle this and that....SIGH
It is not my place anymore, but at the same time I pity him, and he does have the kids 2-3 days and, well, I can't just tell him to go fly a kite.
And after 2yrs he's actually thinking of going back to church but is having a hard time believing, as a christian I can't turn my back on someone who is broken, but there has to be a line drawn somewhere. I find myself giving him advice on how to live alone and deal with daily stuff, living a life I so wanted to share with him, he asks me questions and I try to help.
It doesn't hurt me anymore to think of the life we could've live together, but it is the fact that he now realizes that the same demons are there, the ones who told him to rid of his M, nothing was solved, and he doesn't see it, and I don't want to say "I told you so". ARGH!!! he should lie on the bed he made, I just dont' have the heart to tell him so, I can't try to help others and turn my back on someone who is really asking for my help. His mom's cancer and mastectomy have affected him, his sister had a recent miscarriage, he feels all is gone to heck and no one likes him and that that there is no good people left in this world.