I really messed up tonight... called my husband asked him why he is throwing us away like trash... how he could leave us for a woman who cheated on her husband... is dating a married man.. and is breaking up a home...how we are suffereing not only financially but mentally....I told him I was so tired of all this....but I told him I would never stop praying for him and our family.
I was so weak today said alot of other things... kind of just let in to him ... said things I have been holdong in not wanting to upset him... and of course he is always the one that yells all the time but of course in his eyes it is I who do all the yelling...
I asked him why he always thought and made me feel like I was such a terrible person....Man I really blew it...the enemy had his way with me tonight and it started this morning right of the bat....sitting in in traffic going to work for over an hour... late for work.. will probably be written up for it.. could be my last write up...
I have been fasting and praying my breakfast lately and Charlene said in one of her devotionals that I was probably going to be attack by the enemy ....and hard.... and she was so right...
When we talk on the phone it has been really nice just talk about our daughter,our dogs, and the family in general... but then this happens... I feel like when a person falls of the wagon when they are an alcoholic....like it has all been for nothing...
I guess I will just have to pull my self up by the boot straps as they say... and just keep praying. So many things were said to night I wish I could of been stronger and not of called... and I really have been stronger... depending on God more and more each day.. but like I said my day started out on the wrong foot...
I really let into him tonight...just so tired of treating him with kid gloves.. like I am the one who did wrong.... I hope I haven't undone what God has done so far. I know he doesn't need my help...but I just couldn't help myself...
Now you just pick yourself up off the floor, ask God for forgiveness and guidance, etc.
DO you have that book, The Power of a Praying Wife? They have a pocket sized book at the bookstores which have prayers and spaces for you to write notes.
I love mine!
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Yes I do and I will read it again... some prayers are ...let me put it this way I wish words like those would come to me when I pray...but I will carry it with me from now on, it really is an very good book. thanks for your response....I went right to bed after I posted this... I feel beaten down...tired...and his same crappy words I keep hearing them over and over in my mind..."I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO SAY" well better get ready for work our daughter is home sick from school taking her to the DR.probably streph.....have a blessed day in jesus name
I know... I know... but I finally got an answer from my husband... he would always say "I DONT KNOW" Or "IT IS SO HARD" but he finally told me of his plans and they are to start a new life a fresh star as he put it... a new life with his girlfriend...I said you want a new life?? with her?? and he said that is the plan... finally the truth
I dont know why he yanked my chain for almost a year.. I told him that if he was afraid to hurt me again....that I was way past that and then he told me the truth...
In a strange I feel so much better like a weight has been lifted...I dont think I am in love with him anymore... but I still do love him and maybe I always will....
But I have the truth... no more, I DONT KNOW.... so now all I can do is to keep praying for him.. keep standing with God for our healing.. and just seek God almighty for strength...
Dont know what else I can do... there were so many lies... and I asked the questions and he answered. I needed that. Now I can sort of say... put in behind me and start a new life without him .... for the time being till we get a miracle....
I know I should of not pushed it but I needed answers. and now I have them...and I asked if he could tell me when he is planning to file... said he did not know... but that he hadn't done it yet.....What does that mean..... more chain pulling I guess .. but like they say in here... believe half of what they say and half of whta they do... and that is so true... Be blessed in Jesus name everybody...
Last edited by IRMAT; 09/15/0809:58 PM.
M-53 H-46 M-24+YRS BOMB-10/14/07 2-S 2-D Grandkids-7 Greatgrand kid-1 He needs space... Wants to start fresh new life W O/W Moved in his O/W Oct.08
