hope3343,
Thanks for reply.Ive been avoiding any contact with OW's H since we spoke on two occasions right after this came crashing down. He was one who actually enlightened me to the A, but I denied it until H confessed. H did call police when he got threatening message and insisted I call if he ever came around again because he doesnt want that "freak" around our kids. I just started attending new church, but have spoke to pastor on couple occasions. Will consider discussing OW's H with him. Thank You. You are right, his behavior is probably pushing my husband more toward OW, and If I have any other contact with him I will instist he stop this behavior for that reason , but especially for the kids sakes. I still think OW is using my H for protection and shelter. Im sure it feels empowering for him ,but youd think he'd feel in over his head with all this drama. Seems like it would be so much easier just to fix the marriage than to run off. But they say people who run from their problems seek relief and end up in PAIN and people who face their problems experience pain, but end up RELIEVED
By the way, nice 180! Sound like the "last resort" technique? Your H reaction interesting. Really threw him off it sounds like. I officially implemented "last resort " when my H and I were having another "going nowhere" conversation about what happened between us and H again reminded me I was to blame and he didnt love me anymore. I said I wanted to forget and move on..........."without him". He then softened, hugged and kissed me on top of head. I interpreted it as "thank you" for letting him go. since then I have not been initiating any contact, minding my own business when he's around, and even remind him to pack the remainder of his belongings to take with him. He seems more angry since Ive been acting this way. It seems my behavior is just pissing him off and validating his feelings of "emotional neglect " by me. But Im just trying to "let go " like he asked me to. TWINHOPE- your H asked why u never asked him to do anything after he left and he was waiting for u to reach out but u still "pushed him away" even after he left. I wonder If that may be what could be going through my H head? Sounds like his thinking. WHAT THE HECK DO THEY WANT FROM US!!!!!!????? Stay strong girls.