I say to only judge your wayward spouse's intentions by their actions (not their words), and specifically NOT to count their movement away from the OM/OW, but only back toward the marriage. When I hire people, one of the things i try to determine is, "Are they running TOWARD my company, and this position, or are they running AWAY from something?" Similar dynamic.
But I (and DB) also advocates "doing what's working," and "don't do what's NOT working." So I think you've got it backwards. Why would you change what you were doing, if she were moving back towards the marriage, and therefore, by definition, what you'd been doing had been WORKING????
I took this as "She may still be with OM, but as long as she takes actions to come back to the marriage." One of those actions HAS to be to leave OM. Thats what I meant by they go hand in hand.
And guys, I didn't mean I'm getting bombarded here on the board. I meant in my real life. With all these situations and people coming at me. I'm practically being CHEERED on. Like, "Good for you. It's about damn time you go and find someone that appreciates you."
Me 47, WW 38 SS18, D15, D10
Good Bye Girl. No longer SAYING she's moving out. GBG moved out 8-1-08
"I have now decided to enjoy life instead of figure it out."
