Day 4 of the detachment. It is tough to do this.......
We needed to set up a parenting schedule. I tried to be nice and brought home dinner and sat down with her to discuss an amicable schedule. Even though she was very nasty and unpleasant, I remained calm and isisted that she remain respectful.

I was again stupid and checked the cell phone account to see who she has been talking to. Of course its good old Ben..the man I believe she had a relationship with while at Camp. She is going to visit her Aunt and Uncle in Virginia when my nephew has his bar mitzvah, but I know she will be visiting Ben who lives in NC. I was upset at first, but can not control this. (Its freaky thinking of your wife with someone else, but guess she is no longer my wife.)

The more calm I am, the more upset she gets. I am going to see all of my childrens teachers tomorrow. I know my wife already spoke to them in anticipation of what I will be saying. She doesn't realize that I am going to be extremely respectful and very humble---requesting that they look out for the best interests of my children and use their respective expertise to help them.

I do not know why if I think I am respectful, that she will respond in like kind. She is upset and wants to move the divorce along quickly. I am not in any rush as I am not in any hurry to leave the home of my children.

I need to keep getting stronger day by day and focus on me.....I am very doubtful that this could be turned around nor am I really interested in trying to save the marriage at this juncture. I feel betrayed and hurt as she has been abusing me for many years. I am now insisting that she respect me and include me in the daily decisions of the children. Even though my daily and active participation with the children is new to me, I am enjoying it despite the crazines at the office. I am actually learning to place things in its proper perspective for the first time. Amazing how crisis forces you to change!!

Yes I still hurt and miss our relationship, but as each day passes, I realize that a better day lies ahead.....