Peicing but Angry and Confused.......HELP !

[Dr LOve]

So, later I was doing stuff on MIL's computer when W tapped me on the shoulder to tell me it was time to leave. I unconsiously jerked my shoulder away as that was not the kind of touch I wanted from her.

Ok so you say your W has a problem showing emotions and then when she touches you the only way she knows how... YOU TAKE IT PERSONAL....... Dude I had (and still do a little) the same problem.
So do you think by "jerked my shoulder away" you are encouraging her to ever touch you again? I don't think so...

As for a depressed Wife with low self esteem... let me introduce you to my wife. And no my W was not raped but there was an attempted rape that she escaped. So I know where you are coming from guy...

You said you have read some books. Didn't any of them say you first need to detach just enough to know you can live without her if you choose to? Also you need to reach out to her without expecting anything in return. I am no expert but I have been here for a while. I have spent days picking out our anniversary present only to receive not even a card. I planed dates that would have had more fun if I brought my sister. But slowly VEEEEERY slowly things are starting to turn. My W is starting to show some interest. Do you plan your dates? This is a problem I have is that I planed the date and worked at trying to give W a good time. But I have turned the tables now. I am having W plan a date. She is the one that will plan out the evening so I don't have to worry.
Hey guy I think your biggest issue right now is taking things personal. Try not to... as for

One of the moms who has a kid at D's after school caught my eye. The flirtation was mutual but brief.

And people, she is incredibly hot. Don't know if she's M/D/S
yet.

Don't even go there. Unless you ARE getting divorced. The jealousy thing is less than a 50-50 chance especially for you when she already said she hopes you can find somebody.

I will admit though it is nice to be noticed... BTDT

So my dilemma:

Me: Faithful, patient, longsuffering DAM

W: depressed, non-responsive and sometimes hurtful WAS who I love but who doesn't really try to look good or make an effort to learn anything new re: relationships.

She: Hottest young woman that's shown an interest in me in years...i mean sizzling! Someone I could have fun being with for a change.....

I don't see a dilemma, you are married.

If W had not left me, even if she never changed, I would not seriously entertain any flirtation.

Me too. I have said this very same thing

But I don't know what I want anymore.

Ya you do, you would not be here if you didn't want to work on your marriage.


Dr Love