dont ya just wanna say it once to their face sooooo bad?????
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
You sound like you are married to my xh! He did the exact same thing with the utilities!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Oh, I knew I missed something. Enlighten us as to the program. Darn and I was going to watch it but H was here.
The Bomb: 08/05 H moves out: 06/2006 H moves back: 01/07 & Out again: 01/07 H moves back: 03/08 & Out again: 04/08 H moves back: 05/09 & Out again: 07/09 Divorced 08-12 Kids: 22, 20, 19
Patti, I would love to say it to his face but I don't think he would care anyway. His feelings for me are dead. Besides which, I won't stoop to his level and say such dumb things.
Snodderly, our xhs really are twins, eh?
Mom, I didn't see it yet. I have it dvr'd and plan on watching it this weekend while the boys are with JA.
But I almost had to smirk reading what he did. It's so predictable of someone that finally realizes that they don't have the control that they use to..they have to go and pull a childish act like this. Of course he knew that you would pay it anyway! And if he took his name off on that, why didn't he tell you the exact date he was going to do it, so that you could contact the utility to set up the account in your own name. You would have lost the current budget plan amount, but you wouldn't have been without power.
I dealt with the utilities when our house was sold and I had to move to an apartment. If they know that there's been a divorce, and things have to be set up differently, my experience is that they go out of their way to help you. Mine even suggested some further things I could do if I found out that my income was insufficent to pay the monthly costs. I thanked her and told her I would do okay..but I thought it was really courteous of her to ask. If your husband would have explained what the circumstances were, they would never have cut off the utility..they would have got in touch with you to see if you stil wanted to continue it once his name was off.
Besides, I thought utilities had to give a shut off warning to people before they actually do it...you didn't receive any notice of a pending shut off? Strange. Wonder if that was his doing to.
Nice little 'last stab' comment he put in there about you saying he was still the father. LOL Sigh.
Like someone else mentioned. Karma. Sorry you're having to go through this, but things will eventually settle down and you won't have to deal with this type of thing.
Yes...we still love them, but....the 'in love' part feels like a fading memory sometimes. As someone else asked...'where have we heard that before?' LOL There were times during our 30 year marriage that I didn't really feel 'in love' with him, but I knew I 'loved' him. And eventually the 'in love' part would come back. I figured it was kind of like an ebb and flow thing in any marriage.
I still remember what it felt like to be 'in love' with my H, and I'm sure you remember too. My thoughts are that our XHs still have those memories/feelings at times too, but may never express it to us. I have no doubt at all that their love for us will always be there too...that I'm almost positive of.
Wishing you less stress filled days ahead.
Women are angels. And when someone breaks our wings, we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible
Mrs. H, I suggest that if you have any other bills that are in his name, that you get them transferred over to your name as quickly as possible. What about the car insurance?
They do this stuff to "show" us that they are cutting the ties and the more they cut, the better they feel. They don't stop to think about the fact that their feelings for us are still running very deep. The anger is a sure sign that the feelings for us are still there. They lash out because they can't get rid of those feelings. Besides, if someone hated you that much, do you honestly think that they would be up in your face each and every day like he is? Most people may have a word or two w/you and then leave you alone.
As for his behavior, I have to agree..you can't love it. He's acting out and one day, he's going to want to be "friends" w/you again. It's not going to be right away....probably 2-3 years down the road, once the anger is gone and the euphoria of his new life has gone dull and tarnished for him. That's when you will be able to clearly and honestly determine if you want another relationship with him.
For now, do what you need to do to protect yourself. Get his name off of as much as you can. Pamper yourself. We are all here to support you in any way that we can.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
No, I wasn't given any warning that the utilities were going to be shut off. They just assumed that JA was the homeowner and if he wanted the utilites shut off then they would shut them off. Maybe they figured he was moving.
Hey Cat, thank you!
Hi Snodderly, thanks for always stopping by with your wisdom.
All the bills are now in my name including the car insurance.
It's weird because for the most part JA has been very nice to me when he sees or speaks to me but he keeps doing these stupid little things that tick me off.
I do feel like he has been calling me for little things lately. I rarely ever call him.
Do you really believe he will want a relationship with me again one day? I just feel like he is soooooo...done and over with me. I really don't know if I ever want a relationship with him ever again, I just know as of now, I am not in love with him or like the person he is.
Yesterday he calls me up while I was in class. I had the phone on vibrate and when class was over with I listened to his VM. He wanted to remind me that the realtor was coming Wednesday at 3pm. (I already knew that). He also said that he could pick s4 up at school along the way.
I TM'd him "I will pick him up"
He TM'd back "why? It's on my way? Why can't I do it?"
I TM'd him back "Just stick to the schedule."
He didn't TM back after that.
Then he calls up at 3:40pm yesterday and says he left early because of the rain and got to my house early and wanted to know if he could come get S4 early. S7 doesn't get off the bus until about 3:50pm.
I told him "No, I am tired of you always having an excuse why you are early. My L already wrote you a letter to stick to the schedule and stop showing up early. You can go take a ride to the store or something and then come back at 4pm".
He started yelling and I hung up on him.
I got to S7's bus stop at 3:45pm and JA was there. Of course S4 saw him so I had no choice but to let him go to his car. S7 got off the bus late because of the rain and I said Hi/bye to him as he left with JA.
It was already discussed with JA at the 4-way meeting with the lawyers that he needs to let s7 go home first, drop his bookbag off, and get a drink. S7 hates when he doesn't get a chance to do that.
Anyway, as JA pulled away with them he said "It's 3:58pm, I will drop them off at 7:28pm to make you happy."
I did not TM him back as he was baiting me.
I might sound like I am being a bitch to some, but I am tired of JA taking advantage of me. I am not talking about a couple of minutes here, I am talking about 20-30 minutes early. He NEVER wants to follow the divorce decree. He hates rules.
I feel like it's never going to end.
Today I have been getting my house ready to get it on the market. I can't help feeling anger toward JA that because of his selfishness, the boys and I are going to lose our home.
