Hi lodo, I really do want to be married to my ex again and it is not because I am lonely. I truly do love my ex and have come to a better understanding of what love is about (although that in and of itself is a lifetime process).
Today I went with my ex to speak with the loan officer. My ex wanted me there so that I can ask questions, read documents, etc. At the end of the day, she and her best friend could not get the loan unless they were able to put a down payment on the house. I offered to lend them the money and they were very grateful.
I was really glad that I was about to be there and support her through this house buying process. This is very hard to do internally, as I feel like I am writing my own death warrant. But in the end, I want her to really be happy and to experience everything life has to offer. Later that evening, we went to a nice restaurant where she began to share with me about some of her disappointments in life regarding people, family, etc. I was really glad she opened up. She didn't bring up the relationship, but I was glad that she opened up to me a little more. We drove around town for a little bit - just talking - almost like the good old days. I kept telling myself - I hope this moment never ends.
