I did read your thread, however a little fast. But, I hope you will not give up b/c even though things look dark now, there have been stories where the S moved out of the home and in with OP. As the old saying goes, you never know a person until you LIVE with them, right? Well, their "romance" may cool its heels in a hurry once the fantasy wears off. So, just try to follow that list as best you can and keep coming here for support.
He sounds like he is in serious MLC. I don't know if you have looked at that forum, but why not read some of their threads and see if you think it may help.
Talk to you later. Hang in there. Take care of yourself.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!