Where there is injury...pardon

[JCJ]

[Separated]

Lola...hugs and kisses, I'm getting a little jealous!! I'm glad that he is being so helpful in this situation. DB your butt off. We are rooting for you!!!

[iamlost]

I'm a Female Fixer, too! I can't help it--I had little brothers to protect growing up.

Maybe we can start a Female Fixers Anonymous group?

[LolaL]

This is what my T told me, I always want to fix everything and save everyone. It is true. So I had to step back and allow him to fix what he needed to fix, and me to just wait.

It is going well, but I am still trying not to get over-excited. I don't want to blow it again. I am letting him take the lead. That is hard for me to do, but in the long run, it is worth it.

[MichelleLT]

Yeah, I'm a fixer too. I think it's part of having younger siblings sometimes.

I always had a laid back side though. So I've been cultivating that more this last year.

So nice of your H to take you to work when it wasn't really on his way.

Just take it slow. Deep breath!

You can do it!

(((Lola)))

[JenInVen]

Hi Lola! Remember your mantra...breathe

I'll just say ditto to everyone else.

I really liked how he told you about a very confidential case...that speaks volumes about his feelings towards you.

Do you think your D21 is angry because she's so used to you fixing things that when you didn't fix this she flipped???

[LolaL]

Yes, but that is only part of it. I think it is also because she is not getting what she wants. Don't get me wrong, I love my D21. But for her entire life I have bent over backwards to make her happy, to appease her. I am done doing that. I realize that some of who she has become is part of my doing because I spoiled her, wanted to give her everything, was a real "yes" man. But at the same time, she began to manipulate everyone around her to get her way. H saw that. I didn't. I saw my D, the child I gave birth to, and could not accept that she would do anything to get her way. It took me a long time to see that, but I finally did when I asked her to apologize to H and she refused, point blank stating that it was because she did not like him.

I realized that no matter what, there are some parents who try everything for their kid, give them love, attention, and they still turn around and smack you right in the back of the head. The difference now is I have learned counterdefense, and she does't like that.

[AnewAmy]

((((Lola)))

[MichelleLT]

Hehe. Yep, I bet she doesn't!

She's gotta figure it out for herself though unfortunately.

(((Lola)))

Good for changing things up with her though!

[Separated]

((((Lola))))

She a grown up and must start acting like one. Good for you for putting your foot down. One day she will realize that you are doing this for her own good.