Update: A nurse just called me back from the hospital. He was very nice, and actually gave me good info & advice. I told him a little about H's symptoms. He told me that my H needs to go see someone who is very specialized, with both psychiatric and neurological board certification. He gave me a name and number for one such doctor. He also told me that I should do what I could to convince my husband to go without pushing him to go, because if I go, any doctor worth his or her salt is going to listen to me, smile, basically pat me on the head, and then tell me to have my H make an appointment with them. Docs don't take the word of the spouse, which makes sense.
He also told me that men especially have a VERY hard time admitting something is wrong, and to just play it cool. This, I know!
JWS, you are so right on all points. I am a fix-it addict. But I also have an undergraduate degree in psychology and feel like I SHOULD have seen this before. I couldn't connect the dots because I blamed myself too much. Now, I blame myself for blaming myself. Ridiculous!
I also think it took me 5.5 months to really listen to the crazy things coming out of his mouth with detachment. To look at his behavior with detachment. And be able to say--this person is not well, hasn't been well for a long time, and has gotten worse. And then consider why like someone outside the situation would.
I'm gonna follow the nurse's advice when I talk to H. I won't push. And I know exactly what he's looking for in a solution--a magic bullet. And I think I can present this--honestly--as possibly a magic bullet for him.
And then the ball is in his court.
It is in the shelter of each other that people live.--Irish proverb
