Help me Act AS IF, Part 7: The Separation

[newnamenewlife]

I always come here when I feel upset, so I guess I will again now, even though no one has responded to me in days and days.

H came to pick up the Ds this evening and they were all excited to see him. They started talking about how he'll be moving into his new apt Oct 1. He's had a sublet until now. Then they were saying "Daddy, can we get a hamster when we move?"

After they left, I broke down crying. It is SO hard to see my girls all excited about H's moving on. Am I supposed to pretend to be excited for them?

Since June, he has lived in a furnished sublet. Now, he's got an unfurnished, one-year rental--which means he will be taking some furniture from our home. I am DREADING that. Again, I don't want to sit there and act AS IF it doesn't hurt like hell that he's so comfortable doing this, that I'm going to be left needing to replace a big armchair, a few rugs, a sideboard, dresser, etc. I don't want to have to pretend this is all OK with me for the kids' sake. IT HURTS. He's a selfish, arrogant A$$ and I kind of hate that my Ds still adore him.