So I married a sex addict...

[grant]

Hi HC,

I've been wondering about you and how you might be doing.

Well, this is an interesting development, but not entirely unforeseen.

It looks to me that you really started getting your dignity and self respect back. You finally got to the point that you could do no more, and in a way, that has lead to your being able to detatch.

It might be so that he's only expressing these things until he finds some other diversion, but I have a feeling that this might just be a bit more fundamental.
Remember what I said about loss. REAL loss and the realisation that you cannot continue the same behaviours. Your stance with him and the circumstances he now finds himself in will have him really beginning to think about what he might want, and what he can no longer have.........

It's powerful stuff. I know he's in a mess and he will vacillate, try, fail, and try some more. But you must believe that while you must under no circumstances "rescue" him in any way, you can help him by maintaining this strong position toward him.

I believe that will help to propel him one step closer to accepting his issues, and the reality that his behaviour has now placed him in.

This is, in fact a very good thing, and it's a sign that things may be changing for him, and certainly for you.

I think although it's good to retain a healthy skeptisim, it's still wonderful that he has mentioned about attending some meetings. There are some in many of the cities in the UK. I only really know about London, and there are a couple of really great ones here. (Not sure where you live.)

I think when you talk about wanting an EA with your husband, you're only stating what every partner wants. I mean that probably above all else, it's our emotional needs that are the starting point and the core requirements for any ongoing intimate relationship.

That's how I lost my wife......

Perhaps you mean that right now, ALL that you want is an emotional connection, and not necessarily as a husband or partner.
That makes perfect sense, and it's certainly more than enough to even offer him that at the moment. Like I say...... he's a lucky guy to even have that.

I know that it's all a nightmare for you right now, but I bet a little part of you is feeling glad that the actions you are taking for yourself are having an effect upon him also.

Jon2911 said it beautifully above....... "He needs to get miserable enough to want to change, and it will happen if you give it time."

Looks like he took a couple more steps toward being miserable enough.......

Take Care HC, and hang in there girl, you're doing great.