aiming for a new me 12

[MidwesternGirl]

FG:

The C might even suggest to your H eventually that he see the both of you.

I think this is a great step for your H to want to go to a C.

I don't think anyone is as stubborn as my H as he refuses to go because they will tell him the same thing I have told him in the past. Not to mention, he had training in this while in seminary.

[Maya44]

I'm scared H will use this as a biotch session with the C. Blame me for most of this and the C will agree and will push H to divorce.

[MissH]

Glad to see he has made the appointment.

Admitting he needs help is a step in the right direction.

[Maya44]

Oh, remember though, this is for help on why he's so angry all the time. This is not marital help. But yes, help is help for sure! H going to IC is HUGE in my book!

[MissH]

One step will hopefully need to another step in the right direction.

[Maya44]

H never called me last night after his appt like he said he would. I'm pretty bummed about that, but also trying to remember how it felt leaving my first IC appt and how overwhelmed (for lack of better word) it all felt.

[glamgirl]

FG you can't be bummed if you have NO expectations. When they say they will call doesn't mean they will. If they do it's a bonus.

Just let him bring it up to you and if he does listen attentively.

[Maya44]

I am SOOOO down today! I feel like it's one of those "jump in front of a bus" kind of days! I hate that I feel H isn't going to move forward much. I hate that I don't know him much and I hate that he won't let me in. I wish my mind would leave me alone too!

[glamgirl]

FG I can't express to you how much I felt like you have. No progress in my situation. It wasn't until I stopped expecting anything and was quiet that progress started to happen.

I spent months of smiling and nodding, no R talk, no expectations, no talk really about myself to h. I would just let h talk and then I would listen and say things like h that is wonderful, wow h how exciting, I am so proud of you, you are so smart, sorry your feeling down, anything I can do to help.

Do you get the picture FG? Just put your h's needs right now above yours and be consistent in your actions. I like to do things as experiments. Then sit back and see how your h responds.

We know it works in theory, because my h is now responding to my months of seed planting. Now the big test is it enough to bring him home?

[glamgirl]

I still have my down days too FG. Especially when I think of finances and how better off we could be as a family if h would stop paying elsewhere, but I just try to let that go. It's not my choice.

I am in better spirits though now that my h is responding to my efforts.

You have to be conistent FG and this could take months and months. You can't one day be nice and then the next time wanting to R talk or bring up finances or whatever. It doesn't work that way.

You have to just be consistent and path that way home! Your h has to be able to see himself living with you as h and w before he will come home.

C is a huge step and let your h know that you support his efforts.

You need consistency, patience, and reasurrance FG. Pray for that!