4. Compliment H when given the opportunity--I like this, are there specific ares in particular you should be focusing on? Can you work them into conversations as they happen?
I will try focusing on his projects. I noticed that last time he came over he was ready to leave kinda in a hurry but I casually brought up a project he was working on and how I read something that made me think of it and got the magazine for him. He lingered, read through the mag and started asking questions and for ideas. I will continue little things like these and throw in some compliments about how has done on the project so far.
Originally Posted By: istherehope 5. H will contact more often (hopefully because of previous)--so he will contact more often based on the fact that you will let him set the pace of contact and that each contact will be pleasant?[/quote
Yes, I hope by letting him set the pace he will become more comfortable reaching out and making contact.
[quote=istherehope 6. We will see each other at least every other week--when do you want this to happen? What can you do toward making it happen? Will being unavailable for awhile make it more likely?
I am hoping that by going dark it will initiate. We do see each now at least once a month. The month of August jumped and I saw him about 4 times. I have not seen him since the end of August now (in Aug he had his mom's car but she is back from vacation now so no transportation)
[quote=istherehope I even wrote down some long term goals for when we get to piecing. (Being extremely positive)
1. We will have date night at least twice a month (Just the two of us not including groups)--what would let you know that you are going in the direction where you would be moving toward date night? Perhaps it's dating in your current R, where you are still separated?
2. H will come over for dinner at least once a week--what could start this trend?
3. H will discuss finances and what each should be putting into the household in order for us to live together.--do you not feel you should be discussing finances at all?
ITH [/quote]
The long term goals I will not even initiate until some more of the short terms goals are met. I am not trying to jump the gun and am too scared now that I will backslid if I attempt now. They were just somethings that I hope to achieve before the end of the year and I guess some positive wishful thinking.
I thank you guys so much for all the input. It is making me feel more & more assured that there will be a light at the end of this tunnel.
