Last night all I could think about was how this sitch was wrong for me and that I needed to start the process. Not because I've given up, on the contrary I think that nothing will or can change untill there are some consequences for my W.
You got that right. So what are you going to do? You don't have to file for divorce but you do need to maintain your self respect and boundaries.
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She gets to still be married, has her children very well taken care of by me, Gets to go out whenever she wants, sleep with whoever she wants, and call me whenever she needs something.
