I haven't posted to you for awhile, but I've been following your adventure. You've been doing admirably. You've kept control and you've shielded your daughter from as much of this as possible. You are truly a mensch (sp?).
Your W is acting out of desperation--she's in trouble, and she knows it. So, she is using the nuclear option. I hope that your lawyer is clever enough to figure out how to use this against her. It seems to me that your are now past the point of wanting to protect her from the consequences of her decisions. That is a good thing.