The only time I felt as distant from H as your W is with you was during the A and afterwards when I was deciding which way i wanted to go. Did I want OM or did I want H who at the time was doing everything in his power to keep the M together. I was in a place of power and control. I cannot think why your W would choose a life of possible lonliness and definite hardship ( unless she felt she was being abused ) It does not make sense.
Yes. She now says she was abused, hence the protection order preventing me from contacting her. She saw an abused woman's counselor who advised her on all this. I have to say, I didn't see... no one saw... any of this coming. No one. Not her family, not mine, not the kids, no one. She never brought it up on counseling. She ran up the abuse flag after I was out of the house, well after she had given up. It feels like a retroactive justification to me.
It's funny, but she accused me of controlling her, while she was EXACTLY in the position you described - absolute power and control in the relationship. She had her finger on the big red button that could explode everything.
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I really hope you get what you want.
Thank you. Thanks for being here. I have dreams... but you know, I won't live just for the dreams any more. Instead of "One day I will get what makes me happy" now I am trying to live for today. What will make me happy today? Instead of "4 kids in college", I am looking to much smaller things. Did I exercise today? Did I put in a good effort at work? Did I go see a friend today? it's the practice - that act of making myself happy in small ways every day - that will bring me to my dreams.
