>>>I am afraid of failing again....simply do not believe I know how to make an non-platonic R with a man work.
All we can do AG is be who we are. We have no control over others. Just ourselves. Following through on being who we are and not trying to control every detail of life is very hard work. Especially for perfectionists and controllers. I've been there. And I still have to catch myself from falling into old habits.
I told Ellie in the beginning that whenever she saw me doing or saying something that made her unhappy to pull out a big stick and let me have it. She's had to do that several times since we've been together. :-) It's not natural for her (or anyone for that matter) to have to let me have it. I've had to learn to recognize that when she's upset (for whatever reason)I need to NOT be afraid to ask what's wrong.
Asking what's wrong is something I used to do in the beginning of my marriage. It's something I stopped doing with my x-wife over time when 'wrong' felt like 'controlling' over me. In hindsight, I should never have stopped asking her what's wrong. I regret not having addressed the controlling and how it made me feel. Over time it just became easier not to deal with it. Big mistake on my part. ...Soup
