My last thread was locked, so starting a new one. I guess I post too much!
The thread title is related to the fact that I have 5 more weeks before I will have been out of the house for 3 months. Don't worry though, I in no way think that this means I will go back and we'll suddenly be in piecing! I actually think I will go back to a very lukewarm (if I'm lucky) reception, but 5 weeks is still a long time...
In fact I have some business trips planned for the beginning of October, so it is unlikely that I will be in Poland for much more than 3 weeks.
Anyway thanks all for posting and keeping up with my sagas. Pisces, thanks for your last post on my last thread.
How long did it take you to get from stage 1 to stage 2? I am really surprised that I am still in stage 1 as we don't really seem to have any negative feelings between us anymore, but I guess if they are within H, it still counts. Stage 1 with sex is an interesting combo anyway...Of course that was just a one-off given the fact that I am here in Poland and he's in Dublin!
By the way I know many of you would have seen my posts about H's self-help books around codependency etc. Jody said that he is likely "over-correcting" and thus is trying to spend as much time being independent and autonomous as possible.. This is why she also suggests that I be really good about giving him space. She said that most of these books will not suggest throwing the baby out with the bathwater, but rather trying to make corrections in behavior to see whether this will alter the dynamics of the relationship. I hope she is right. She thinks that the way he set up the meeting on Monday sounds as though it was based on a suggestion from one of these books in terms of how much time to spend with me in order to minimize the likelihood of negative interactions. She says that he will probably gravitate toward a happy medium over time, but the issue at the moment is that we do not want him to make decisions on our future relationship based on the extreme that he is in now. This is another reason why she feels that me just showing up at the house will be the best option since it will not force a decision or discussion, and we just take the gamble that he will not bring up an R talk. In fact she said that if he does send me more of these guilt-ridden emails, I can choose to ignore as needed, given the fact that he ignores many of my emails.
I'm just spinning right now, so unsure about the next few months, nervous, excited, scared, the usual. I will be having a joint session with H and Jody next week, so let's hope this sheds some positive light on the situation. When I asked him if he wanted to push the sessions out, he said by 1 week. Jody said not to ask him again, and to stick with this timeframe. Hopefully this will mean he's committed as he didn't seem to be previously...
OK I will post more later if anything interesting happens. H is predictable these days though in terms of contact, so I suspect he will not reach out today, unless it's another email about how his tuition should have been paid...
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
